Random Thoughts

We spent the last week "house sitting" for Josh's mom while she was in Florida. That's actually code for staying in a nice house with carpets and a shower I don't have to wear flip flops in. (Okay, so I don't have to wear them at home either, but I do because I'm weird. Also, the hard wood here is beautiful, but carpets just feel better to feet sometimes. Plus, you don't have to worry about slipping on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.) Heh, anyway, so we stayed the week and took care of the cat, Simon who I believe fell in love with us while we were there. He slept with us every night, which was cute except the bed wasn't that big to begin with. We brought our own food, and cooked in her nice big kitchen (with a dishwasher!). Ahh...good times.

Since we were living in the Milton area for the week, Josh dropped me off at my mom's before work every morning. Now I'm pretty much addicted. I love being able to go and visit there and just leave at the end of the day. It's amazing how hostile that place seemed before, and how much I long to be there now. Not full time, of course, but mom and I have decided I should visit every Tuesday and Thursday. They have a garage full of work out equipment and since I have diabetes (ugh...), it'll be good for me to get some exercise. Plus, when the baby is born, I'll just hang out by the pool. ;-] This Thursday we're going to dye my hair. I can't wait. I really have no reservations with my hair anymore, except that I would honestly cry if someone cut it all off. But, I've dyed it black and that was horrendous, also a purplish color which was equally ugly with my skin tone, so I don't have too much to fear anymore. Josh is really laid back about what I do with my looks anyway, so I never have to worry about that.

In other news, I ordered a black idog for my sister's birthday. I knew it was going to be a little late because her birthday is on the 7th and the black dogs didn't come out until the 22nd, but I pre-ordered to make sure I'd get one. Today they sent me an email saying I wouldn't get it until the middle of April! So, I called around to all the local toy stores and they are ALL backed up. Thank God I pre-ordered, I guess. I can't wait to see it. Those things are so freaking cute.

I've decided I'm ready for Riley to be here. Even though, he owns nothing, and the nursery is...well...just a room. It's amazing how before I ever got pregnant, I would talk to expectant mothers who were about 8 months (like I am) and how they just couldn't wait to give birth, and I just didn't understand why they would look forward to such a rough day. Now, I get it. I can't put my own shoes on, I have to see the doctor every week, I bump into stuff...Nine months is a long time. I think Riley and I are both ready to have separate bodies. I have an appointment with the nutritionist tomorrow, and if she puts me on an all meat diet, I will pull my hair out. These are the sacrifices we make for our children though, I suppose.

I'm reading "Refuting Evolution" now because this topic has been brought up so much in the forums lately, and I realize that I have absolutely no argument because I don't know anything about it. The book is supposed to give scientific facts supporting creation, so I'm really interested in hearing about that. I will definitely be blogging about it.

I'm going through an educational growth spurt, I guess you could say. I just feel like I want to learn things. I already mentioned the evolution thing, but I also want to be educated in finances. I did a free online finance assessment from USAA and the only two areas they say we are doing well in is car and renters insurance. That's mainly because we just don't know what to do with our money. As of right now, we don't have any investments, and no IRA. I was reading about a couple who was 60k in debt. They talked to a professional and got rid of it in two years. Now they put about 200 away every month for their baby's college education, on top of investments and their own retirement fund. Josh and I are no where near 60k in debt, so I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Only problem was I knew we couldn't afford to hire an accountant or anything to help us figure out how to get there. Lucky for me, Eagles Nest is having an 8 week finance class starting next Wednesday. The class its self will probably be pretty boring, but atleast we will learn something.

It's the last day of February. It might be my wishful thinking, but I think that means we will have one more really cold month, and then smooth sailing. I could be setting myself up for a pretty big disappointment, but I'm looking forward to warm weather none the less. I can't believe I actually forget what the seasons are like down here. It's been way too long.

Random thoughts.

No kidding.

Posted in the forums today, the girl did not give a link...yet.

Muslim rioters, incensed over the cartoons of Muhammad published in
Denmark, were responsible for killing at least 130 Christians on the
streets of Maiduguri and Onitsha in Nigeria, according to reports
filtering out of the country from Voice of the Martyrs.

At least 51 Christians are confirmed dead in the Maiduguri attacks that
took place Saturday. In the rampage, more than 150 homes and 32
churches
were burned, and 85 shops were destroyed. Authorities were finally able
to control the volatile scene after arresting 114 and having militia
enforce a curfew.

The mayhem began when Muslims staged their demonstration against
degrading caricatures of Muhammad that were originally published in
September 2005 by the Danish newspaper Jyllands Posten.

Even though the cartoons were by no means a Christian attack on Islam,
Muslims in Nigeria and throughout the world have turned their rage
toward Christians – many of whom have never even heard of the
controversial sketches, reports Voice of the Martyrs.

Muslims were reported running through the streets of Maiduguri
threatening people with death and violence if they did not speak their
local dialect. Many of the dozens of victims were publicly tortured to
death in the city streets.

Amidst the violence, six children were burned to ashes in front of
their
father, Joseph Tukwa, who was unable to rescue them. Six Christian
leaders, including the Rev. Joshua Adamu, were injured and are now in
hiding. Church of Christ in Nigeria,
Living Faith Church, Church of the Brethren in Nigeria, St. Augustine's
Catholic Church and St. Mary's Catholic Church were some of the
churches
set ablaze by rioters, who killed two Catholic priests. St. Rita's
Catholic Church was also torched. The Rev. Fr. Matthew Gajere was
murdered and then burned after he helped several altar boys escape to
safety.

In total, at least 123 people have been killed in the last four days of
violence across Nigeria.

At least 80 people, mostly Christians, were slaughtered during two days
of violence in Onitsha, leading Nigerian human rights group Civil
Liberties Organization, said yesterday.

"We counted at least 60 dead on Tuesday, and on Wednesday no less than
20," said Emeka Umeh, who heads CLO in Anambra State.

With Nigeria's population of 126 million people roughly split between a
predominantly Muslim north and a Christian majority south, analysts say
the cartoon controversy has simply served as a spark for this latest
episode of sectarian violence.


Religion of peace, huh?

9/11 in Plane sight

I tried to download the video, but I'm supposing it failed because my little hand-me-down lappy just couldn't handle it. Most of you who read my blog are educated in the video editing, post production, computer type stuff. If you can get your hands on this video, and take a close look, I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Supposedly, this 52 min. video reveals conspiracies behind the 9/11 attacks. Granted, some of the questions presented on their website (http://www.911inplanesite.com/) could be answered by pre-schoolers, I am still slightly intrigued. For example:

How does a Boeing 757, constructed from lightweight aluminum, penetrate over 9 ft. of steel reinforced concrete?

First you find a suicidal maniac, put him behind the wheel and after that, what else matters? Never mind the fact that the gigantic plane fell from the sky at an amazing speed.

Wah-hey...what about that thingie people can do with the dollar bills where you can see the smoking towers and the pentagon! Isn't that like, cryptic and junk? Yesterday these and other equally meaningless things were "signs" of the attacks, today people are believing this stupid video disproves it all, and that it was a huge conspiracy created by the idiot Bush. How can you follow people with this logic?! It's absolutely insane.

I know that the only people who believe this bull are complete idiots, but I really want to see the video anyway. It amazes me the comments that people from other countries will make, as if theirs were Candy Land compared to ours. Gimme a break, you'd all be screwed with out us an you frickin' know it. The devil on my shoulder says we should just let them all stew in their own feces for a while, and when they beg for us back, we'll just laugh in their faces. The countries I really hate, will be nuked to the ground. Bahahahaha!

Do the world a favor, spay/neuter the liberals.

Missing the Point?

I'm waxing philosophic today.

Actually, it all started with Sex and the City. A lot of times, I can't explain why I watch the show, or why I like it, I just know that I do. Most of the time the content is questionable, along with the morals of the characters, but every once in a while, I agree with the point of the story line. The episode I'm referring to today, is the one where Charlottle gets married (for the second time) and is crying in the bathroom after a few things have gone wrong with the ceremony. Carrie goes in to cheer her up, and her basic message is that she married an awesome man, who loves her, and she's just beginning a very wonderful and happy new life and that she shouldn't worry about a little thing like a ceremony. That got me thinking how often in life we miss the point.

I was never the little girl that dreamed of a perfect wedding, with the perfect cake, dress, or music. Maybe it was because of all the disaster I'd witnessed at such an early age, but the only thing I really wished for was the perfect man. By that I mean, Josh. He's not perfect, but he's exactly what I'd dreamed of. When I think of a successful wedding, I think of two people who are really meant to be together, making it official. We didn't have a huge budget for the wedding, and I personally couldn't wait for it to be over so I could start living my life. (Not that I didn't have fun, I will remember it forever.) While I was planning the wedding, I used the internet, magazines, and bridal stores to get an idea of what I was supposed to do (since I'd honestly never cared before). They made it seem like a perfect wedding was a life or death situation. As though, if you didn't pick the perfect DJ, your marriage might collapse. Celebrities make a huge deal out of it every chance they get. Television focuses so much on the wedding price and style that you hardly ever see the couple. It's like they don't even matter, they're just puppets in the "Wedding show". But I ask you, what's the real point of a wedding?

It's hard to miss the point of having a baby, but I do think people miss the point of children pretty often. I have a friend who actually feels sorry for me because I'm pregnant. I keep telling her that I chose to have children with my husband, that though it may be uncomfortable sometimes, that's really not the point. But she doesn't get it. I'm not sure she ever will, honestly. I know she'll be the one who shows up when the babys' sick, or excited, or upset and she'll shake her head and say something really irritating like, "Remember when you were single?" Ugh. I'm hoping I can live by example for her, but I'm not sure she's paying attention. The fact is, most of the world agrees with her. Go out and have your own fun and your own life and then maybe, if you feel like it, have kids. While I find this position kind of annoying, I do realize it reduces the amount of stupid and selfish people that breed, and that's a good thing. I can't tell you how excited Josh is to experience everything for the first time, again. He can't wait to go to Disney World, or the zoo or even to the beach and explain everything to Riley. So, what's the point of having kids?

I think this might be one of the biggest things that annoys me about Christianity, or any religion, really. (Oh noes, here I go again...) I might be wrong, and admittedly, I'm not as educated in this area as I could be, but my belief is that God did not intend this to be as complicated as it is. In the beginning, it was all very simple. You talked and fellowshiped with God every day, took care of the Garden, and didn't eat the fruit. (and we even screwed that up.) I know that everything changed after the Fall, but wasn't the basic idea the same? God is unchanging, right? So, it stands to reason that His expectations of us also didn't change. Faith, belief, trust and love are the general ideas. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, so why put all the distractions of religion between you and God? When it comes to God, are we missing the point?

Not long ago, Josh and I were a part of a business team in PA. The business was a good one, it helped many people and when taken in the right context, could and has done many people a great service. The problem was not with the business its self, but with the ones who ran it. We clicked with the couple who introduced us to this business instantly. We felt like we could talk to them about anything, and because they were a couple years older than us, we felt like we'd run into some friends who could give us some caring insight on life. They were also a whole lot of fun. The feeling seemed mutual, and we'd often talk about being life time friends, who's kids would grow up together. When Josh and I felt God pulling us away from the business, we thought of all people, that this couple would understand. They didn't. Since leaving the business, we haven't heard from them at all (except when they wrote us an email asking for a book and some cd's back). Seems like their friendship was only contingent upon the fact that we were making them money. I don't think this couple are bad people, but I think they've missed the point. They talked so much about relationships, and how important they are, but what they meant was it's important to make people like you, and want a lasting relationship, so that they would continue to make you money in your business. Now that I've seen what the point was, I'm glad we got out as soon as we did. I was personally (and still am) heart broken that this couple, who had professed that we meant so much to them, dropped us like hot potatoes when we failed to do what they wanted. God taught Josh and I a very valuable lesson in this couple. What is the point of friends? Is it to enrich our lives, or to enrich theirs?

I've heard that God is in the little things, and that is one cliche I totally agree with. I think God makes a point of rewarding those who refuse to be distracted. When you take a look at the intricacies of the human body, even just one hair, or if you research what makes the sky blue or the mating ritual of the Emperor penguin, its not hard to see that God has a personality of details. (He also has quite a sense of humor, but that's for another post) People build up dreams of material things, and money that will enable them to do God's will, but what is often ignored is that, in the Bible, God used the little guy. Think of David, as the most obvious example. God only made certain things in this world eternal for a reason. Youth passes, beauty fades, you may suffer a stroke and lose your personality but what's really in your heart can't be taken away from you. As long as you pass that on, it lives forever.

I try to live my life one day at a time, and take off my shoes whenever possible. There is nothing better than the feel of the earth between my toes (especially sand). I don't care if my feet are dirty, if my nails are a mess and my hair is tangled, as long as I had fun doing it. A few years ago, (probably when I met Josh) I tried to close my eyes and burn an image of a particularly good memory in my mind as it was happening. I can't remember any of those now, but I know that at that moment, I wasn't thinking about anything else.

So what's the meaning of life? We'll never know, because we think too big. Maybe we're born knowing, then somewhere along the way some well meaning but over baring adult tells us that it's unimportant. God always did have a special place for children, and when you think of it, that has to mean something. Because we all start out as children, they're just potential little adults. Something about childhood is especially meaningful to God. Somewhere between birth and adolescence, something important is lost.

Maybe He'll tell us when we get there.

A little bird shot never hurt anybody

FOXNEWS.COM HOME > POLITICS
Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter in Texas
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

WASHINGTON — Late night comedy stars are probably planning a slew of new jokes after news broke Sunday that Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a hunting buddy.

Harry Whittington, 78, was hunting quail with Cheney on Armstrong Ranch in south Texas when Cheney sprayed his friend in the face and chest with the birdshot from a 28-gauge shotgun. Birdshot disperses a spray of small pellets rather than a single larger shotgun round.

According to Armstrong, who is friends with both theCheney'ss and the Whittingtons and set up the two for the hunting trip at her property, a group of hunters was traveling in a vehicle on the ranch when it spotted a covey of quail in the late afternoon.

Armstrong, who remained in the car, said Whittington shot a bird and went to look for it in the tall grass, while Cheney and a third hunter walked to another spot and found a second covey.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong told The Associated Press

Armstrong told FOX News that Cheney, thinking he was the last hunter on the right of the party, turned and fired at a quail. Whittington was standing 30 yards away on lower ground with the sun to his back. He was knocked to the ground, but not knocked out. All members of the hunting party were wearing blaze orange, she said.

"The vice president didn't see him," Amstrong told The AP. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by God, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good.

The shots "broke the skin," Armstrong said. "It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that."

The shooting was first reported by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times.

"It was just one of those things that unfortunately happens quite often when hunting," said Kathryn Garcia, who broke the news for the Caller-Times.

Armstrong said the vice president's emergency personnel team responded more quickly than she would have.

"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

The rest of the story: Cheney Accidently Shoots Fellow Hunter in Texas




I'm sure you've all heard of this already. I just needed some time to do the research before I posted about it.

Whittington himself refused to make any comments out of respect for Cheney. Fox news thought it relevant (in a later article) to bring up the fact that in 1994, Bush accidently shot a bird on the endangered species list. (He paid the fine, but we thought we'd throw that in there for laughs.)

The Press Corps is having a huge fit because a small local newspaper in Texas was told before they were. What friggin' babies. I wouldn't tell them anything, and if Cheney wasn't legally obligated to do so, I'm sure he wouldn't have. As the story goes on, positive medical updates are given to the White House, but not immediately delivered to the public. The press, and other liberals, are infuriatedd by this. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev accused this administration of being the most secretive "in modern history."

"Talk about secrecy, the vice president accidentally shoots someone and keeps that a secret for nearly a day. That man, of course, is now very sick," Reid said. (Yeah, and how long did Clinton keep the Monica thing a secret?)

Fox news also has an entire story on IF Whittington dies. And that's a huge if. The guy is doing very well, but I suppose they had to add to the dramatics. Way to blow something out of proportion, guys.

The sheriff's office in Sarita, Texas (where the incident occurred) has closed the investigation, and no charges will be filed. Bush is also satisfied with Cheney's account of the events and according to Scott McClellan, so are the American people. A telephone survey of 1,000 people showed that 57% believe that Cheney's incident was just an embarrassing accident, while 27% believe it raises serious questions about his ability to serve as vice president. Interestingly, this electronic poll also shows that Republicans were "overwhelmingly unconcerned" while Democrats were split over the implications of the accident.

How can you be "overwhelmingly unconcerned"? I'd like to see a study on who has the lowest blood pressure out of the two parties. It could be that we just don't throw a big fit over every little thing that happens, that actual issues are the only things that conern us. Speaking for myself, my blood pressure has always been extremely healthy, even while I've been pregnant. Maybe the Democrats should take up yoga.

Unfortunately, I first had to hear about this in the forums. From a retard. Everybody took this opportunity to poke fun at the stupid Americans (if they were from another country) or to somehow make Bush look stupid. Yeah, I know. It doesn't make sense. They're just bored, misinformed kids, right? When the news hit that Whittington had had a silent heart attack due to a pellet being logged in one of his arteries, one of them falsely reported that it had been Cheney who'd had the heart attack. They all celebrated, hoping that he would die soon and put them all out of their misery. (Stupidly forgetting that they'd have one less Republican to make fun of, and that it wasn't even Cheney who'd had the heart attack) I might be pretty judgmental when it comes to these people, but I certainly don't wish death on any of them. Seems that when it comes to politics, some people forget that actual human lives are involved.

Like Clinton never made any mistakes. Bahahaha.

By the '08 elections, I will almost be wishing for a Democrat to be voted into office. Almost. Its like everyone has forgotten what a shitty job Clinton did. (More likely, they just don't know) I think I'd just like to gloat a little when a fresh new Democrat idiot is voted into office, royally screws us all, and people secretly wish for Bush back. I can't wait to point out how "so and so is such an idiot" like they are doing to us now. I know that's childish, and borderline treasonous when you think about the effects a Democrat would have on this country at this time. But...but...I just want to shove it in their faces.

What surprises me is that all the voters from southern states haven't caught on that the Democrats call them all inbred idiots just about every chance they get. That's where the original rumor came from that Bush was stupid, because he's from Texas and his brother's name is Jeb. The libs got a huge laugh out of that, and they do to this day, yet the southern voters don't call them out on their hate for the American people.

I wish Bush would really play stupid and "accidently" drop a nuke over in the Middle East. I hope it's the last thing he does right before he walks out of the White House doors in 2008.

That'll show 'em.

Sugar and Spice

...and everything nice. That's what little girls are made of, right?

My mom didn't like that recipe. My family isn't in to sweet food, we're more of a spicy, salty kinda people. And so, that's me. A little more spice than sugar. I won't even get into the everything nice. I always knew this was the case with me, but I never knew it was her plan all along.

Last month, the night before we were to find out the sex of our own baby, mom asked me whether I thought it was a boy or a girl. Deep down, I always had a feeling it was going to be a boy, but I almost felt guilty because everyone else wanted a girl so bad. I told her, jokingly, that I was nervous either way. "A girl would be spoiled rotten, and nobody would want my boy." To this she replied, "Oh no. I love boys. And you have to worry more about spoiling them, than girls. At least, I did. I always raised my girls tough, but I wanted to just squeeze and love on my boys." And those were words that I had no response to. I desperately tried not to make my "wtf" face. Concerned that I might start one of our famous, war-like fights, I let the issue drop.

When I told Josh about the conversation, he did his usual "What?!" and shook his head.

When you're a part of a family, its hard to see them from outside of that group. It's probably been pretty obvious to everyone except me that my sister and I are very different from our brothers. Sam and I really are what mom intended, tough. She is more so in a passive way. My mom would tell you that I've been debating since I learned how to talk.

I'm not the annoying type that debates stupid things like the pronunciation of "tomato" or technicalities and things like that. I just have a very difficult time keeping my mouth shut when I believe wrong has been done, whether I think it will change anything or not. I don't debate things for the sake of hearing myself talk, I only speak up when I feel things on my heart. That's when the urge is completely irresistible.

Like that time Jessica (a teenage foster child my family had taken in) started one final fight with my Mom. She was always disrespectful, and it irritated me the way Mike would never stick up for mom. For some reason, on this day, I decided I wasn't going to let it go any further. I said to her "You're not going to talk to my mother like that." And believe me, all hell broke loose. We had words for a while, she came at me with a knife, in the end the cops came and took her away. (To make a very long story short.) That whole thing could have been avoided if I'd kept my mouth shut, but I just couldn't do it anymore. In the end, Jess cleaned up, got her child back, and now she's a nurses' assistant and has her own apartment in Rehoboth. I'm not taking credit for that, I'm simply saying that maybe things just have to be said sometimes.

I'm not the kind of person who can ignore the elephant in the room either, if you know what I mean. I think its better to hit issues head on. Talk about it, fight about it, but for God's sake get it off your chest. Josh and I have had our knock down, drag out fights but there's not a bitter root between us. He is comfortable coming to me with problems and I'm the same way with him. It's not fun, but its better than waking up one day and not even knowing the person sleeping next to you. I honestly don't see any personality flaws in him. He is who he is, and I wouldn't want him any other way. I think that's the benefit of being honest.

Just so it's clear, I am in NO way saying I'm perfect. Not for a second. We all have our "do - over" moments when you'd like to suck the awful words that came out of your mouth right back in. I have a ton, because I can honestly tell you I don't think before I speak. Ever. I open my mouth and stuff comes out and it is whatever it is. (I'm a little better at blogging, since I can proof read, but not much.) To be honest, with the spit-fire attitude I have, I should really write whatever I'm thinking down, read it every day for about a week and if I still feel that way, then I can say it. But don't get your hopes up, that's not going to happen.

In ways, I'm glad mom raised me "tough". I'm not sure I would have survived my adolescence any other way. I think I could use a little more empathy and sympathy once in a while, but I'm working on it. I think I have it when it really counts, but it never hurts to have enough to pass around.

As far as Riley goes, I really feel bad that he has to be the first kid. Josh and I are both first born and we both agree that the oldest takes a lot crap on account of the parents being inexperienced. Poor kid, but somebody had to do it. I'm not sure what kind of parents we'll be yet. We know what we definitely DON'T want to do, but we'll probably overcompensate for it and end up doing something equally as traumatic. Either way everybody ends up in therapy, right?

Just kidding. I don't even know what little boys are made of. Something like, dirt and blood and puppy dog tails. Is it tattoos, piercings, and bad taste in music? Maybe a little mischief, long hair, and obnoxious friends?

The good and the bad news is what your parents did or didn't do to you only takes you so far. At some point, you have to start blaming yourself. (The good part of that being, your kids can't blame you forever either.) There was a twenty-something, thousand pound man on t.v. the other day with his mother. Everyone, including the son, blamed the mother for his obesity. Yes, its true that she taught him bad eating habits and fed his depression with even more food. But the man was twenty something. In my opinion, he's definitely old enough (and has been for a while) to make his own decisions. If he doesn't like what mom keeps in the house, ffs get a job and buy your own food. Take a walk, ride a bike, buy some illegal ephedra but DON'T bring your mother on national television and blame her for all of your problems.

If that really healed people, I'd have drug my father's drunk ass on one of those shows a long time ago. But it doesn't really solve anything. I don't believe in therapy either. If I get to the point where I feel like I'm so screwed up that I need to talk to a therapist, I remind myself that I'd only be complaining to him, and that he couldn't do anything for me that I wouldn't eventually figure out for myself. I really believe its just part of life, and you are stronger for the crap you have to endure.

Besides...



Have you hugged your dysfunctional family today?

Ron the Rhino

...or whatever his name is. He's a pesky little bugger who has inspired me to write today.

He actually inspires me to do a lot of things. Like, rip my hair out, curse at the sky, throw a knife a the computer screen. Stuff like that.

You've probably guessed it. He's a forums member. Josh hears all my forums stories and so he has come to believe that there are only jerks and retards who post in forums. That's not really true. The truth is, I only talk to the jerks and retards because most of the time its pretty fun. Until, you meet someone like Ron. (I'll just call him that since it kinda starts like Ron but he's from some other country so I'm not really sure what the rest of it is).

Here are the forums personalities as I've come to know them:

*The Whiner - This person clouds the forums with mod complains, suicidal threats, health concerns and other pointless crap. They are the emo kids of the forums

*Sarcastic Jerks - that's me. I basically wander the forums pointing out where people have said something irresistibly stupid, making fun of people who take themselves too seriously, bringing humor to serious topics. Our motto is, "It's the internet. Get over it."

*The Essayist - This guy writes books when he posts. He kinda needs a blog. It's not okay to make posts that put people to sleep in a forum. Nobody ever knows what this guy is talking about because you can't make it through his friggin post.

*The Intellectual - The guy who knows it all. Really, he's just a skilled Google/Wikipedia user. This guy can argue religion, politics, fashion, whatever. He tends to do a lot of research, make one very informed post, and then leave. You never hear from him again no matter how hard you argue.

*The Political Commentator - I fall under this category a little, though as I said before my posts are more sarcastic than anything. This person knows all things politics, especially American. I use the term "knows" very loosely because he's usually the kind of person who will just claim "Bush is a tard! My mom hates him." as a very solid argument.

*The Joker - Uses the laughing emote way too much. Is sickeningly over-positive. This person can be a breath of fresh air if you've gotten involved in too many forums fights recently.

*The Picture Whore - I think the name says it all. This person believes they are incredibly sexy and posts their picture just about anywhere they can (and some places they can't). They are usually starved for attention and can be identified by their threads asking "Am I hawt? Vote!"

*The Illiterate - This goes way beyond a few misspelled words. This person replaces "that" with "dat". In the most extreme cases, you can't even be sure what they are talking about because not only is heavy slang used, but their grammar is completely skewed. Like The Essayist, this persons posts are rarely ever read in full.

*Ron - He gets his own category. I've never met another poster like him. He claims that I'm stalking him, yet if you were to see the forums you'd notice that his posts come AFTER mine. I must be some stalker if I can predict his next move. Obviously his ego is the size of the Empire State building. He is ALWAYS right, no matter if he is or not, and he closes every post to me with "You lose." He calls everything a debate. You can't just have a conversation with this person, it's a constant battle. It's extremely exhausting. He'll call me every name in the book, pester me until I want to scream, and when I finally forget I'm a lady and rip into him, he claims "You're so shallow! You don't know me! I'm a computer genius and I'm going to give you a virus if you're not nice!"

Needless to say, he's also a liberal. He rarely posts anywhere except for the Debate or politics forums. He is THE source for information on American politics, though he's not even an American. According to him, Americans are egotistical, greedy, slime of the earth. Yet, he is obsessed with us. If that doesn't prove he's an idiot, let me just say this: He wants Hillary for president in '08.

So there you have it. I'm sure I've missed some, but those are the general personalities of the forums. Most of the time I actually have fun, sometimes I'm even educated a little. Ron makes my life difficult, but he is a source of entertainment also. He's the biggest 'tard I've ever come across and he's completely impossible. He takes my insults and uses them. If I call him an egotistical bastard, he calls me a fatherless egotistical. (which doesn't really make any sense). I don't even know what country he's from, but I'm pretty sure it's Brazil.

At the moment, I'm having fun in a rather old school, play ground type argument with him. I'm still immature enough to throw personal slams at people I don't know. He's stupid enough to respond to me...every time. The only reason I stick around is because I can tell by his posts that he is very upset with all the !!!! he uses. I find it amusing that he's worried about what a faceless internet person has to say about him. I guess I have a problem. I probably shouldn't pick on people like that. :-[

I'm still waiting on that virus.

Red and Pink Day

Or, ya know, Valentine's Day.

I'm really excited. Turns out Josh working last weekend pays off in more ways than one. He's going on a shoot at Sussex Tech tomorrow morning and then...who knows!

Today we worked on making cards for each other. It was so much fun. As usual, we gave them to each other early. If we ever make it through a holiday without spoiling the surprise I will be very impressed. His was hilarious, of course. Mine was just two-sided, printed on his business card paper. (because it didn't bleed through) I was pretty proud of the finished product.




Remember, I'm an amateur. It was a lot of fun though, and it gave me something to do today. Plus, making something for someone is always better than buying them something. (Unless you buy them something really, REALLY cool.) The back of the card was really cool too, but that part is on Josh's computer and I don't feel like transferring it to this one. Just take my word for it.

Happy Valentine's Day.

I'm it.

Playing tag, apparently.

Something fun to post today, since I'm not really in the ranting mood. Don't worry, you're getting tagged too. :-]

4 jobs you have had in your life:

Ice Scooper for the Ice Cream Store
Sales person for Peebles
Waitress at Friendly's
Assistant - Gangi & Pritzkur, P. A.

4 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:

Boondock Saints
Fight Club
Forest Gump
Waynes Wolrd (the original)

4 Places You Have Lived:

Milsboro, Delaware
Milton, Delaware
Camp Hill, Pennsylvania
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch:

The Simpsons
Family Guy
Lost
Sex and the City (my guilty little secret)

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation:

Orlando, Florida
Cherrystone, Virginia
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Virgina Beach

4 Websites You Visit Daily:

Blogger.com
Forums
Deviantart
...thats it. Unless you count the individual blogs.


4 Of Your Favorite Foods:

Chinese! Egg rolls, specifically
Italian (uh, anything typical)
Chicken and dumplins' from Cracker Barrel *drool*
Mashed potatoes (well, we might as well say anything starchy)

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

On vacation somewhere warm (mmm...vacation)
In the summer (does that count? I really like where I am right now)
In a house that we own
At a barbeque (haha, I love them)

4 Bloggers You Are Tagging:

Josh
Tim
Dan
I only know three :-[



Do it or die.

Long Weekend

Wooooow. This has been the longest weekend in a while. It just seemed to stretch out for...eternity.

Friday (Pay Day):

I had the privilege of going on a little field trip with Josh. Thursday he had come home very excited from a meeting with his dad at KSI. Apparently, one of the directors there had filled him on "Pay Day". KSI or Kent, Sussex Industries is a facility that gives work to the mentally disabled.
Pay Day happens every two weeks on Friday, at 3:30 sharp. Their pay checks only amount to about $6, but that doesn't squash their excitement for a second. They cheer, give each other high-fives, and stand excitedly waiting for their name to be called. Once they're handed the check, each one of them has a special place to hide it until they get home. (Usually a fanny pack or somewhere in their pants.)
Josh and I felt we really needed to witness this. Now that I have, I think everyone should. These people posses a very child-like innocence and excitement that many of us have long forgotten. It's beautiful, really. I mean, when was the last time you got excited about $6? Honestly, I haven't been excited about a pay check since high school. I just know its going in one end and out the other pretty much immediately. Its gotten to the point now where as intensely grateful as I am for each and every pay check Josh brings home, I dread pay day. It just means I have to do the bills, and wonder how in the world anyone is supposed to save money these days. Witnessing pay day gave me a better appreciation for it.

Saturday (A lot of work and a little play):

Immediately after getting out of bed, Josh went downstairs and started working. Ugh. That never spells a good day for either of us. He has this Indian project thing he's been working on forever and the duplicator/burning thing does NOT work. He practices his French on it every day. The light at the end of the tunnel was the Rotary Club Gala we were going to that night. I kept my chin up, didn't complain about missing him, and sat myself down on at the lap top. I was incredibly bored, so I decided to work on something I'd read about in the forums. It's a free web site maker called Piczo.com. It's mind numbingly pointless, but I had nothing better to do and since I don't know HTML from Spanish, I knew it would keep me busy for a little while.
I had problems with "broken pages" for a while until I called Josh in. He's always pretty quick to come help me if he's working on something on the weekends. I think its a mix of being grateful for a break and guilt. Anyway, my big problem just turned out that for whatever reason, I can't make a piczo site while I'm in Safari. Big whoop. So, I started making the stupid thing, half way through realized that it has NO point, and so I started over. By then I had a headache and it was time to start getting ready so I gave up.
The Gala was really cool. I honestly love stuff like that, but I can't give an exact reason why. We sat with Josh's cousin Drew and his wife Kim. They're cute, and we hardly ever see them so it was nice.
We were the youngest people there and I really felt like everybody was staring at me. Not that I'm hard to miss these days, but, it was kind of embarrassing. I'm never sure if people can tell I'm pregnant, or if they just think I'm fat.
Anyway, the whole thing was so formal. The theme was French, and it was set up like a little Bistro, though I believe Bistros are Italian. Six to Seven was cocktail hour, and they had hour'duerves. Around seven they brought out a salad with strawberries on top. A few minutes later they brought out onion soup. Then there was a buffet with roast beef and, vegetables, potatoes and of course, French bread. The live band was really cool, the singer sounded exactly like Bill Medley. If you don't know who he is, just think of the song from the end of Dirty Dancing.
We stayed until about ten, and then headed out into the beginning of a snow storm. Luckily we made it inside before it got too messy. Josh went back to work after we got home, and I went back to my stupid piczo. We stayed up until 3 a.m. just messing around, in separate rooms with separate computers.
Some days, I really can't wait for Riley to be here so I have someone to play with again.

Sunday (the not so restful day):

Josh begins this day yet again at work. This time, I complained a little bit. You can't blame me, I miss my husband. In the end, I always lose anyway. I noticed he'd changed his desktop on his computer and I could tell right away it was something from deviantart. I looked at it for a while, noticing some things I recognized but I still couldn't figure out how they made it. Knowing that Josh loves to teach, I asked him, and that provided entertainment for me for the rest of the afternoon. (Not the teaching, that only took about 5 mins.)
Photoshop used to be my favorite toy until I learned how to vector. I don't like vectoring in photoshop. I can always tell when someone vectors there instead of Illustrator. Anyway, so Josh had taught me how to use a layer mask or...whatever its called. I didn't have any good brushes on this computer so I had to download some, which I love doing anyway. Deviantart has some really cool ones people make themselves, the only problem is if you intend to use the brushes on something you're going to post, you have to remember who you took them from and link them. So copying the picture Josh had on his desktop, in my own way of course, took me a couple hours. Ahh...almost dinner.
Then of course, because I was so intensely bored, I worked on the piczo. I still don't have anything to show for it, not that I would anyway. It's so embarrassing. How completely lame. If my writing is especially bad today, I blame it on the fact that it hasn't been used in a while. I literally feel as if I've lost brain cells.

If you made it through that post you're either too obsessed with me, or you're even more bored than I was this weekend.

I was bored...

Your Blog Should Be Red

Your blog is full of intensity and passion. You are very opinionated - and people love or hate you for it. You have the potential to be both a famous and infamous blogger.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Well I guess I was close, I chose pink.

Maybe next month.

Need I say more?

Ahh, two in one week.

Police visit Spears over photos

Spears has defended driving with her son. Photo credit: X17
Police visited the home of pop singer Britney Spears following the publication of photos showing her driving with her son on her lap.
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Sgt Diane Hecht said officers went to the home to seek information for the Department of Family and Children Services.

But the department refused to be drawn on any possible investigation.

Los Angeles police have already ruled out bringing charges over the pictures, taken by a paparazzi photographer.

"Unless a deputy saw the violation, there's nothing we can do," said deputy Luis Castro.

"We don't even know if this took place in our jurisdiction."

'Protect him'

Spears has defended her actions, saying she was carrying her son Sean in the front seat while she was driving only after feeling threatened by photographers.

"I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way, but the paparazzi continued to stalk us," she said.

It is thought her bodyguard was sitting next to her in the passenger seat at the time.

She called the incident with photographers as a "horrifying, frightful encounter".

"I love my child and would do anything to protect him," she added.

The agency which took the photos denied it had acted inappropriately in getting the shots.

In a statement X17 said the pictures were taken "in a very peaceful context, in which photographers exhibited no aggressive behavior".

Spears, who has taken time out from recording since marrying dancer Kevin Federline, gave birth to Sean in September.


I don't know what the law is in CA, but I'm pretty sure there's something the police could have done in this situation. It really makes me wonder what they were so afraid of. Maybe when they showed up to her house for the "investigation" they were offered money and favors? Possibly a peep show or a lap dance...its really hard to say.

One thing is evident, the pop star is free and clear to endanger her child another day. Some of you might argue that the mere fact she is allowed to breed is an endangerment to her child, and all future children. Well, they out lawed sterilization of the mentally challenged a long time ago, and you all are just mean. :-[

I particularly love this part: "I love my child and would do anything to protect him," Uhm, except put him in a car seat. How friggin hard is that. (Well, if you're Britney, matching your underwear to your outfit is enough of a challenge for one day. Not to mention marrying a man who had a baby on the way with another woman) What's so scary about the paparazzi, anyway? They never scared her before, when she showed off her new boobs, hair, shoes. They were always quite kind, considering she can't sing, and she's fairly unattractive.



Ahem.

There was a story on the news the other night about how people were complaining about how much cops make. Its not what you think though, they were complaining that cops make too much. I know for a fact that cops start out making about 30k a year, and they risk their lives every day for it. How much is Britney Spears currently worth? $125 million.
And people were complaining that certain street cops were getting 200k with extreme over time. Pssh. What does she DO to deserve that much money, without anyone disputing it? We all know that pro athletes make astronomical amounts of money, and when they feel they deserve more (who in the world deserves more?!) they whine and throw a fit and strike until they get their way. Eventually, like bad parents, we get tired of the crying and give them what they want.

My point here is why are we letting them get away with this? Why do we pay them more than the people who protect our streets and teach our children and WHY do we let them get away with murder?! (enter OJ Simpson)

I'm not saying that I want their money or their lifestyles, believe it or not I'm quite happy where I am in life. I just think there's something seriously wrong with a society that puts more value in celebrities than educators, doctors and law enforcement. I mean, the Democrats cry about how much is put into national security and they cut the budget at every chance they get but who in the bloody hell decides the budget for actors?!

I'm afraid this time my rantings are really just hot air. I don't think there's anything we can do about this problem. I'm not sure who decides how much is spent on entertainment, or if there even is such a person. I think its probably just progressed over the years, and people have just accepted it. I mean, everybody loves to watch Cribs, right? (ugh...MTV) This might sound crazy, but as much as I love movies, I'd rather not have them than have this race of over paid, under punished super humans that we all worship.

This one time, I'll be a hypocrite because I'm sure Josh and I will watch a movie or atleast some form of television tonight. Maybe I could say "Boycott Hollywood" but I know that is the LAST thing people would consider. We love our stars. We even continue to find them ways of employment long after they have lost their shine (thus, reality shows). Since there's' nothing to be done, I guess I'll just say this:

FFS, buckle up your kids.

God Hates America

Tim mentioned this link to me the other day when I was ranting about Christianity. Though I find most Christians obnoxious in their own special way, these people take it to the absolute extreme. Located in Bible belt, USA (also known as, Topeka, Kansas) Westboro Baptist Church graces us with this lovely, not to mention informative, (and well put together, I might add! The aesthetics are to die for, literally!) little website.

Right. When you first enter the site, you are bombarded by huge blue letters exclaiming "Coretta Scott-King is in Hell!". No joke. This little story is just a preview to what you are about to see. Upon entering the site, several other articles claiming certain well known Americans are in Hell singe your already burning eyeballs. They claim, with multiple exclamation points, who and what God hates, and God's supposed plans for all of us (that don't agree with them).

They disgrace the troops, the Katrina victims and even go so far as to say the miners who died recently in Virginia were targets of God's wrath. Death, apparently, is a punishment. I suppose members from this particular Baptist church believe themselves immortal.

I have to admit that at first, I was a little put off by their violent vocalization. After further examination, I began to believe the whole thing was made by some bored teenagers. Now my curiosity was struck. I clicked on their "Contact Us" link and was greeted by this:

"Westboro Baptist Church members welcome thoughtful dialogue regarding our church, beliefs, and preaching ministry. We are prepared to answer any question, for we follow the commandment found at 1 Peter 3:15 " But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear". Our servers detect and deal appropriately with profanity, so if you want to waste your time, feel free, but don't expect a reply to your email. If your question is answered in our FAQ, or answered in the FAQ at godhatesfags.com, expect to be told so -- in other words, read them first."

Now I ask you, How could I resist?! When I told Josh I was going to email them some questions, he looked at me like I was crazy. But I just have to pick on people like this, I can't help it.

The email took me about an hour to write, though it was quite short, considering. The trick was writing an email asking questions that they could answer, without getting sarcastic. I also had to get around this amazing profanity detecting server they claim to have. That was about a week ago, and I still haven't got an answer from them. I think I did well, until the end where I may have tripped myself up by asking them if they were a real church group, or just a bunch of spoiled kids making a website to tick people off. *shrugs*

If you have the constitution for it, check out this site. If nothing else, do it for the laughs. I particularly recommend the September 11th article. The day-glow blue header proclaims "This is the only truth about September 11th you're likely to hear, so pay attention!" But...they don't really say too much about the event its self. (Is Michael Guest really gay? I hadn't heard that one.) Anyway, the header is a lie, because their ramblings can be found on any liberal anti-American website. Or, even more predominantly, on any Middle Eastern news paper. Who believes God hates America more than the Muslims? The Baptists, apparently.

One thing is obvious, the practice of misquoting scripture to get your own agenda across is still very much alive. Don't be deceived (though I do take you all as much too smart for that). God Hates America is for entertainment purposes, only. I'll let you know if they email me back, though I highly doubt they will.

Couldn't help myself, Tim. Thanks for the ammo.

Why I Hate MTV

I loathe MTV.

Here's a news article someone posted in the forums today:

http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/..._Secret_Service

R.I. School Essay Brings in Secret Service
Feb 02 2:34 PM US/Eastern


WEST WARWICK, R.I.


The Secret Service is investigating a seventh-grader who wrote a school essay that authorities say advocated violence against President Bush, talk show host Oprah Winfrey and others.

The boy's homework assignment for English class was to write what he would do on a perfect day. In addition to the president and Winfrey, the boy wrote that violence should be directed at executives of Coca- Cola and Wal-Mart, police and school officials said.

"His perfect day would be to see the destruction of these people," Schools Superintendent David Raiche said.

The Secret Service investigation is ongoing, but the essay may have been a "cry for help," said Thomas M. Powers, resident agent in charge in Providence. Threatening the president is a felony, he said.

Authorities would not identify the boy or his teacher or release a copy of the essay. He was not arrested, police Detective Sgt. Fernando Araujo said. "It wasn't any detailed, minute-by-minute plan," Araujo said. "It didn't meet the criteria for a criminal charge." The boy has been temporarily barred from school, but as a mental health rather than disciplinary precaution, Raiche said.


The fact that this kid wrote such an essay is not that big of a deal to me. As mentioned in earlier posts, it only seems par for the course. What DID bother me was all the Bush hating going on in the forums today. (As is usual, but let me explain)

I'm getting so tired of it. These spineless arguments, I mean. For the love of God, "Bush is a retard, that's why he sucks!" is NOT a coherent argument. I really don't care if you hate Bush or not, just have a good reason for it!

Thus, why I hate MTV.

MTV is the mother of all evils. Kids believe everything they see on that channel. If Carson Daily says it, by God its truth. If they hear it in MTV news, (next to the NY Times, the most bias piece of crap to ever be run across the wire as "news") it's pure Gospel. You can "Rock the Vote" every four years, but only if you vote the same as the kids from the OC, guest appearing in their flashy cars, fresh tans and liberal know-nothing egos.

If only I could post the thread (you have to be a member to see it) Ahh...the humanity. If there is a single, independent thought among those people I will be incredibly impressed. Why buy the hype? Why not listen to the FACTS and develop an opinion of your own? That would be too much like work, me thinks.

Anyway, the reason I bring all this up with this article is because out of the 10 or so responses before mine, NO ONE mentioned anything about the threats against Oprah, Coke, or Wal Mart. The fact that the kid wrote the essay, and was being examined by a psychologist (finally) because of it, was apparently, all Bush's fault. (So according to liberals, one minute Bush has no plans for the youth of this country, and the next he's reading every freaking essay that 7th graders in Rhode Island write!) Every single person posting in that thread agreed that Bush was uptight about the essay, that it's his fault there was such a big ruckus and that he should be voted out of office because of it. "Well Kerry should have been president!"

Listen, you people voted him into office the first time. Complained the entire four years he was there "Oh he's so stupid, he rigged the vote, wah wah wah..." then, incredibly, voted him into office a second time! Where oh where is the justice!

I suppose the American people have spoken.

In case you forgot, the government has been very concerned about violent essays written in schools since the even of Columbine, which, may I remind you, happened during the Clinton administration. Hmm. Doesn't seem to have much to do with Bush, after all.

In my opinion, the kid didn't seem to be making any sort of political statement, anyway. He was all over the map. Bush, a conservative, Oprah, a liberal, and Coke and Walmart are...well...hermaphrodites of the political community. Whatever political statement is "cool at the moment" they will gladly embrace. (And at the moment, obviously that is liberalism)

The only thing that made this about politics were the people who responded. As I said, I don't concern myself with things kids write about in school anymore. Its quite predictable if you watch the news or, if you can stomach it, a little MTV. Nothing has changed in the last 100 years as far as children go. They still repeat what they see.

Don't worry yourself too much. Statistics still show that conservative programming has much higher ratings than liberals. In fact, according to Ann Coulter (who unlike me, always has great resources to prove her points..heh) the liberals can't seem to keep a program on the air for very long at all. Their books don't sell and well...apparently nobody cares what they have to say. Thus, why they have to disguise their propaganda in things like MTV. In the words of EDL, "The youth are a molotov cocktail ready to ignite". And despite what might be seen in stupid forums, the news, and basically anywhere else you look, the fact remains that conservative thought still stands above the rest.

Ann Coulter for president, '08.

Sand on the floorboards

Yesterday I was hit by a wave of excitement as I was folding laundry. (...It happens sometimes) In a couple of months, three things that I have been eagerly waiting for are going to finally happen. 1. I will get to hold my son 2. I will have my own body back and 3. Summer!!

Its been a few years since Josh and I got to spend a summer near our home, the beach. Summers in PA just weren't the same. I definitely didn't welcome the season change when I was up there. It only meant I would have to go to work every day and watch all the young kids get tanner, and serve people on their vacations and...that was just depressing. Not to mention the fact that it just doesn't feel the same in PA. See, lower DE is pretty much a resort area and when the seasons change, so does everything else. There's tons of traffic, the air smells of salt water, and you have a sudden urge to go down to the boards and buy some fries. It's wonderful *insert huge grin*

I can't wait to show Riley all this cool stuff. He's going to be incredibly young this summer, but I'm sure he will make a few appearances at the boards and other DE summer fun stuff. Like barbecues...MMMmmmMMM....
Mostly, I intend to hang out over my parent's house, by the pool. They'll enjoy the time with Riley, and I'll enjoy finally having an authentic tan again.

Anyway, the point of me saying all this is that after I felt this wave of excitement, I called out to Josh in his office "I'm so excited! It's almost summer!" But really its just February. Still...

He must have caught the bug because later he said he wanted to go to the beach with Jax after work. It turned out to be after dinner too because we were both pretty hungry, so we didn't leave until 7:30 and it was dark already. Yesterday wasn't one of those lucky days we've been having recently where its been sunny and 60. Yesterday was cold.

We bundled up, grabbed the big dog, and headed to the beach. We went all the way down to Rehoboth. Jax must have grown some since December, he dragged Josh up and down the sidewalk until we reached the sand. I think he was more excited than we were. He'd never seen the beach before. Luckily, the place was deserted because he kept marking everything.

On the beach, we released him from the leash and he took off running towards the water. This was a really big surprise to Josh and I and we got a little nervous so we called him back. It turned out we had the entire beach to our selves. We threw the frisbee, Jax's favorite toy. We lost it once, but luckily, it was found. He chased the flashlight around a little. He tasted salt water for the first time. If we could have bought him a hot dog it would have been just like having a kid.

After a couple hours of this, Josh and I decided we were cold enough. We headed back to the car with an exhausted dog covered in sand. It had stuck to his spit all around his mouth, and he was quite unattractive. We gave him some water to clear his mouth until we got home, and kenneled him up in the car.

All three of us left sand piles in our respective seats, and nothing makes me happier. If you've seen my car, you know I'm not the neatest (in the winter especially, its too cold to clean it out!) but usually dirt and trash in my car really bothers me. But this time, it was like a privilege to have sand on the floor boards. I think I might leave it there for a while, at least until it's warm enough to put some more down.

Three more months.

Church or Not to Church...

Thats the question thats been on our minds for the past...year or so. Actually, it's been on my mind for a VERY long time. It doesn't take a genuis to see that theres something wrong with the church these days. I'm to the point where I dont even consider myself Christian anymore. I think I do more to better the world without the title. Telling someone you're a Christian these days is almost like telling them you're a used car salesmen, or any kind of salesmen, really. Its just reality that most people associate the title with something negative and painful.

Josh and I have the reasons for not going to church sorted quite well in our own heads. The problem has been explaining it to others. Mostly because we know they won't understand. I tried to explain my reasons to my mother, and she said I was being closed minded. I happen to think it's quite the opposite. See, Josh and I would have no opposition if we just pretended we were okay with the whole thing and started showing up every Sunday. The family would be thrilled. But we truly believe in this and so we are taking a stand.

My biggest problem is I have been wounded by the church. Not just once, but many times covering many years. It always seems to be the same problem, too. Maybe one day I'll go deeper into everything that happened, but not today because that's not the point. Because I have been wounded, I find it very difficult to explain to friends and family why I dont go to church without bringing up my hurtful past. To be quite honest, the reasons I dont go doesn't have too much to do with being hurt.

I think Josh's problem with explaining it is because he knows he wont be accepted by his family. He was taught, and they all believe, that you just go, every week without exception. I think he has a hard time wrapping his mind around opposing them sometimes. I think everyone can understand that. There are things my family does, and no matter how crazy, I find it hard to come face to face with them about it. (Not that going to church is crazy, you know what I mean.)

Just to be clear, my feelings for God have never changed. In fact, without the church clouting my view of the human race and God's love for it, I feel like I know Him even better. When you aren't bound by doctrine, politics, and other people's opinions, then you have room to visit every aspect of God's personality. There is nothing more interesting, in my opinion. I had a teacher at Valley Forge that taught the Bible in such a raw and beautiful form. It was exactly the truth, and nothing else. Sometimes, it went against what is normally taught in the church. But my question is, would you rather know what the rest of the group knows and be happy with that regardless of the truth? Or would you rather go against the group and know the REAL truth? Interpretation only goes so far.

I am in no way assuming I know everything. I'm simply saying that finding out the truth about the Bible and it's history was so much more enlightening than anything I had ever learned in church. Why don't they teach that kind of thing there? The common people don't need to know? I disagree. I think they should know what the pastors know. I think they should have the facts.

As I said, my feelings for God have not changed. At least, not for the worse. I will admit that my feelings for the Christian people, have. It might be all too obvious by everything I've posted thus far, but I'm not too fond of Christians. I think they've done more to harm the people of the world than to help them. (Ugh, I dont want to get into this today...) I think they're elitest. I think they speak out and whine about things like music and homosexuality (I could write a friggin book on that...) within their own groups, but when it comes to making an actual difference in the world, their lips are sealed. Yeah, they might donate money. But the world doesn't know anything about the love of God based on the way modern Christians act. There...I said it. The only people we see actually doing something, are the ones they're embarrassed of. You know what I mean, the ones who bomb abortion clinics. But at least they are doing something! The last time abortion was spoken of in church, the pastor said something to the effect of "abortion is wrong" and all God's people murmured and nodded. Hmm. I'm young yet and I have much work to do on this planet but even I have picked up a picket sign. Theres just so much wrong with that picture. I think the Pregnancy Care Center down here does the best job in this department. I think they need help in relating to the young generation who needs them, but there is a special place in heaven for the people who volunteer there.

And then there's the Christian figure heads which everyone is so in love with until they screw up. The first time I ever heard of this was when Amy Grant got divorced. Suddenly, everybody hated her. They refused to play her music on their radio stations, sell her CD's and pretty soon even her name became taboo. I just don't understand this very public disregard for one of God's children. The poor woman was going through one of the worst things she'd ever have to experience, and her entire faith had rejected her. (Good to know, God Himself did not reject her, the church did. But...the American public doesn't get to see that.) So what did divorced women around the world think? I suppose they didn't start going to church that year. I suppose they didn't start looking to God for comfort, as they have been told by His church that he wouldn't hear from them now that they have become "unclean".
Now it comes to my attention (though I can't remember his name) that yet another figure of Christianity has been found to be gay. Naturally, he totally banned. Ack! This couldn't be more aggrevating. What's one of the biggest attacks against the American family these days? You got it, homosexuality. What is the only cure for this? God. Well, I'm afraid that just isn't going to happen now that the church has once again turned their backs on the gays. And again, very publically. I think they think that this is what they are supposed to do. That is exactly why I refuse to be associated with them.

Josh and I had a very interesting conversation about this the other day. We went to get hair cuts, and the man who cut my hair was very openly gay. I loved him to death, he was such a character. After we left, Josh was speculating as to why people are so afraid of them (homosexuals). The conversation went something like this:

Josh: "Well I'm not afraid of them. I can talk to them and whatever, but I guess if they started kissing and stuff that would freak me out."

Me: "Yeah, but they're just regular people. And I think the only reason they feel the need to be so weird about it is because people make such a big deal about them being gay. Honestly, they're just hurting like the rest of us. We all just have different ways of showing it. For example, my dad drinks. Some people do drugs...you know."

Josh:"Yeah, sometimes I drink or curse or something. What do you do?"

Me: (laugh) "Well, I'm spiteful. And bitter."

I know I've gotten a little off topic, but to me it all relates. My biggest problem with the church is the lack of love they show the world (and each other!). I think they've been taught for so long "not to love the world" that they forgot what that actually means. God commissioned us to love one another, and we sincerely have to try. I find it hard to love Christians. They find that hard to believe because they are just perfect little teddies in their own eyes. I'm not sure what the cure for that is, but I know it's not cherry flavored. The church will come to a reckoning of the damage they are doing with their own pride and politics or they will suffer very painful consequences. It just takes a little spine to go against the flow.

So the point of all this was to post a really great article that Josh found yesterday. It really sums up (in much more gentler words) what we are feeling about the church, and why we don't go. If you are interested, and you have the time, I highly suggest you check it out. It's very good reading.

Here's my favorite part, just to give you a taste:

"I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!

I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution."

And if that isn't enough...here's the link. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Why I don't go to Church

Don't be a sheep.

After Thoughts

After I posted that article, I went up stairs to my son's room. I stood in the doorway, looking at the yellow walls, the hangy thing his great-grandmother gave him for Christmas, the big plush sheep his father added, the crib dressings awaiting a crib, the tiger bank Josh and I picked out together and all the rest of the colorful softness. It occured to me that it used to be standard that babies were loved, and wanted before they came into the world. These days, Riley would be considered extremely lucky.

Why is that? Because he has a family who is eagerly awaiting him? Because he gets to make it comfortably to the ninth month with no worries of termination? Aren't these things we're supposed to give to our children?

In my opinion, Riley is not lucky. He's getting what he deserves; a loving, caring home. Josh and I are by no means rich. Admittedly, we could have been better prepared for him financially. He was pretty much a surprise. But when he comes into the world some time in late April, he's not going to care that his mother was on Medicaid, he will only be grateful (on some intuitive baby level) that he was given medical care to be as healthy as possible before birth. He won't care that some of his stuff is hand-me-down, he will only care that he has a warm place to sleep and eat. He won't care that we rent a 100 yr old house, he will be happy to have a place near family to grow and learn.

In reality, the only thing that matters to him when he opens his eyes for the first time in that hospital room, is that is parents, and several other generations of family members will be standing in line just waiting to hold him. We'll wrap him up in a soft blanket and pass him around to grandparents, and little aunts and uncles.

Considering that some children are brought into this world with regret, I guess you could consider Riley very lucky. I'm sure he will think the same of himself someday when he is old enough to ask about the day he was born. I just wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish Riley's arrival could be considered the norm.

In all reality, Josh and I should be considered the lucky ones.

In the News.

I think I'll post a news article once a week and give my thoughts on it.
Eh...we'll see how long that lasts anyway.


Mom who killed baby writes for mercy
Woman, now 22, hid pregnancy until giving birth at 15

Thursday, February 2, 2006; Posted: 3:34 p.m. EST (20:34 GMT)


Cleveland (Ohio)
ELYRIA, Ohio (AP) -- A woman appealed for leniency for killing her newborn baby and dumping him in a flooded quarry, saying she cannot forgive herself for what she did as a teenage mother.

"It is horrifying to think my own child is not here because of my actions and decisions," Jessica Coleman, 22, said in a letter asking Lorain County Common Pleas Judge Edward Zaleski for probation instead of prison time, The Plain Dealer newspaper reported Thursday.

"Forgiving myself is something I may never be able to do."

She and ex-boyfriend Thomas Truelson Jr., 25, face sentencing Monday.

Coleman, who pleaded guilty to seven charges including involuntary manslaughter, faces up to 24 years. Truelson faces up to 11 years on his guilty plea to three charges including gross abuse of a corpse.

Coleman was a 15-year-old high school student in suburban Cleveland when she gave birth in 1999 after concealing the pregnancy from family and friends. Panicked, she stabbed the baby boy and bashed his head.

Truelson, then her boyfriend and a college student, helped her dispose of the body in a quarry in Lorain County, west of Cleveland.

In her letter, Coleman said she did not know she was pregnant until a couple of months into the pregnancy. Truelson, who she says is the father, expected her to miscarry, she said.

"When he came home, he would stand on my stomach to prevent me from showing, which was painful and disgusts me now to think I let it happen," she wrote.

Neal Jamison, Truelson's attorney, said he has never heard that version of events. "We deny that ever took place."

The body was found by recreational divers in July 1999. The infant, dubbed Baby Boy Hope, had several broken facial bones and had been stabbed, according to the coroner.

There was a break in the case last year when Coleman told a boyfriend about the baby, according to the Lorain County sheriff's department. The boyfriend told a friend and two family members who contacted authorities.



Hmm. Guess abortion wasn't the cure-all pill we were hoping for, eh?

I never bought that, anyway. I know there are much bigger forces than "Women's Choice" behind abortion.

By now we all should know how babies are made. If you don't want one, don't participate in making one.

Simple as.

Breast feed your amoeba fetus.

I became a member of a rather lame forums site some time after I quit my job to fill some time during the days alone, and to keep my communication skills sharp. Since then, I have learned a lot about modern thinking. What's going through people's heads these days, you ask. Well...not much. It seems most people prefer to be bottle fed by the media. (Speaking of which, breast feeding is now socially unacceptable, go figure. I'll get more into this later.) The age of the "free thinkers" is now on the decline. Maybe it has something to do with my previous post. People just like to be part of a crowd. Possibly, they're just lazy. They are definately under educated. But...most likely all three. And nobody cares.

For example, my biggest pet peeve is the complaining. They whine constantly about the violence and human decay in society. My answer to them: You made your own bed, now sleep in it.

Don't know what I mean? Make "God" the new F-bomb of society, teach children we all come from nothing more than amoeba without any hint of meaning, and allow the senseless distruction of the unborn. Teach men that they are not needed. Teach women that their bodies are government property (oh...yes) and teach the country that when attacked, the best solution is to "talk it out" with those who would love to have each of our heads on a proverbial stick. What have you got? A society full of spineless, violent, whiners who believe they came from nothing, their children are cells, and their country is embarrassing. Bunch'a flag burners. (meh...we'll save that for another post).

Did you know "fetus" means "Young one" in Latin? You mean to say, it doesn't mean "expendible" or "just a cell, ffs"?! Yeah, I thought that was interesting.

Heres what I mean. A while ago there was a debate on abortion. I took a stand opposing it, giving factual information (including pictures, mwahaha), and I was burned at the stake. These people called me everything from "munipulative" to a social deviant. I took these as a compliment, naturally.
Few months later, someone posted an article about why animals are better than humans. And everyone agreed. I wanted to vomit.
And yet, every time a member posts a news article about some seemingly random, disgusting act of violence, they are dumb founded. "What is WRONG with the world?!" they whine. Call me sick, but I personally sit back and laugh at the destruction these people cause themselves. As I see it, it's their own doing.

It makes perfect sense to me. No one else seems to get it. What keeps a person who believes that he evolved from pond scum, and that killing the unborn is the "right choice" from murdering his grandmother? Nothing. What keeps him from drowning his own children in the bath tub? Nothing. Well, my god, what keeps him from kicking his dog?! PETA. But other than that...Nothing. You see, he has no value in human life. Human life, to him, is nothing but coincidence. It just...happens sometimes. And if it is inconvenient to you, by all means, get rid of it. And that is the mentality of the general public.

So why be surprised when your neighbor lights his own house on fire with his wife and kids inside? I'm not. Maybe you took part in voting prayer out of schools, "In God we trust" out of the currency, and "One nation under God" out of the pledge. You of all people, should not be surprised. Maybe you followed the PA "Intelligent design" case and hoped to (I dunno who you hope to, Clinton? Certainly never God...) that your child would never have to be exposed to such rubish. If that's the case then you probably ARE surprised. Why? Monkeys have no problem killing each other if the feeling arises, and if we come from monkeys, why should we be any different? Hah. And you probably still dont see how stupid that is.

Oh. And I promised to talk about breast feeding. According to the other members of the forum, this has just GOT to stop. How dare women (who chose to give life to their babies, gasp!) feed their children in MY public?! Well that's just disgusting, not to mention embarassing. *rolls eyes*
Not that you care, but breast feeding is the best thing you could ever do for your baby. Its reccomended by ALL doctors. It provides them with all the nurtients and immunities they need up to the first 6 months of life. How incredible is that? You can't get THAT out of a powder. Babies who are breast fed are less likely to be sick or die of SIDS, and it may even make them smarter. It definately helps deepen the bond between mother and child.

Just so you know, in a few months I intend to be one of these obnoxious, life giving mothers. My kid will be the one wearing this shirt:




The wrap up. Its an easy one today, kids, since my post was so very long. Of course, if you're someone who really needed to hear all this stuff, you probably checked out a long time ago, blubbering something about "religious extremist" or something equally rediculous. Just in case though, I have this visual diagram to wrap it up for ya.



Don't buy the hype.

Why I am so "Uncool"

I've used this "SuperUncool" name to start a few online things, including this blog.

So why am I so uncool?

By choice. I really hate trendy stuff. Why would I want to follow a crowd? Doesn't that just prove that I'm void of any personality what-so-ever? Maybe not, but that's probably one of my biggest fears; not being an individual.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those gothic kids that goes around thinking I'm so darn special 'cuz I know how to apply eyeliner. *eye roll* Those kids don't even realize that they're part of a crowd. I mean...duh.

What I mean is, I do what I do because I WANT to. For example, my choice of words, hair styles, clothing, might not always be what's "in". Do I care? No. As long as I like what I'm wearing, (and maybe Josh, haha) then I'm as cool as I'm gonna be. That way, I never have to worry about going out of style.

I dont watch shows that would make me cool just for watching them. Example: The O.C. Wow. What a depressing bunch of adolescent crap. And I'm the same age as those kids! Get over your rich kid self and make a difference in the world. People have it so much worse than Orange County, CA. Bleh.

Oh, and music is another thing. You should see my library in iTunes. I've got everything from Fall Out Boy (pretty darn trendy) to Rolling Stones (who?). People my age look at me like I'm on crack when I blare that kind of music with the windows down. Oh, like I do it for YOUR listening enjoyment. Actually, they'd probably like me better if I were on crack. Atleast being a druggie is semi "in".

Maybe I should have labeled this "Attack of the 'Tude". But then, all my posts will probably be the same. There are ALOT of things I love about life. In fact, there are more things I like than dislike, but liking things is conversationally acceptable. Naturally, I need a vent (other than my poor husband) for the little things I dislike, such as trendy freakin' kids. (Oh, and I get the irony that Blogs are really trendy at the moment, but they have been for about a year and I waited for most of the major hype to die down before I started one, so there *sticks tongue out*)

I really hope Riley doesn't fall into any of those trendy traps. Judging by the our personalities, he should be a pretty laid back kid. I guess thats really up to the kid, in the end. I just want him to be comfortable with himself. If anything, be a trend setter, not a follower.

Rant over.

Linz