Secret thoughts of Preggo.

Mike calls me Preggo. I guess he thinks it's cute. Anyway, I thought I'd use this title to warn my male readers (do I even have any females?!) that what is to follow, may or may not be desired information. You don't have to read it...duh. I just feel like I should get some of this stuff out. I rarely ever talk to anyone about how it feels to be pregnant, especially the way it feels towards the end, like I am at present. So, read on if you wish. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'd say my most prominent thought this last month has been "Where the hell are my feet?!" I mean, technically I can see them, but they aren't MY feet. I don't know whose they are; some fat lady stole mine in the middle of the night. Only if I lay around for days at a time (which never happens) am I able to see some thing like what my feet used to be, but still not quite the ones I remember. I haven't been able to touch them for a few weeks, nor be able to fit them into a regular pair of shoes. I wear flip flops 24/7, thank God it finally got warm. I won't even tell you what my toes look like. Since I can't have candy, I asked Josh if I could get a pedicure for Easter. He agreed.

It's pretty much the same story with my hands. I can't get my rings off, which is no big news to pregnant women around the globe, but also my watch doesn't spin on my wrist anymore. Which gives me the impression that my whole arm is pretty much blown up. Josh calls me a water bottle. My family comes up with the cutest names for me; I'm so lucky. *Eye roll*

Luckily for me, I can tell that most of this is just water. I don't know what the heck makes me hold all this water in. I know some of it is from diabetes and some of it is dehydration. I don't get it; I drink freaking constantly. And of course it's mostly healthy stuff too. Propel is definitely my new best friend. Every once in a while I'll sneak an actual soda, with real sugar and real caffeine in it. These are honestly like little vacations to me.

It's like Miranda (from Sex and the City) said, "I'm like a flotation device". That's what it's like, except I'm pretty sure that if I were thrown into water, I'd sink pretty quickly. Carrying around the extra weight is absolutely exhausting, and that is the most frustrating thing for me. I was so a "Go" person before. I did things (everything, really) pretty much spur of the moment, and I would go all night too. I basically had no limitations on my energy. Now...not so much. Josh and I clean on Sundays. I can now handle about two hours before I pass out, no matter how much sleep I got the night before. I also get grumpy around 9 or 10 every night if I'm out. Josh has been really good about getting me home before I turn back into a pumpkin. These limitations have kind of cut me off from our friends that are our age, since they pretty much don't wake up until 9 or 10 at night. I'm guessing that's kind of a long term thing, as I'm sure Riley won't be invited to too many parties. Not that I mind, his life is much more important than getting buzzed and talking crap all night (as fun as that might be). Besides, it's not like I'm totally giving up my social life, am I?

I can't wait for the first night I don't get up six times to pee. Of course, those bathroom breaks will be replaced with getting up to a crying baby. The first night we all sleep through, will be an absolute miracle. I'm also hoping that is the same day I fit back into my old jeans. Then I can really be excited. Think of all the money we will save on toilet paper!

At the moment, I can't think of any more. I have to get ready to go to our financial class at church, which we have missed two weeks of due to Josh's work. Bleh. I'm sure there's tons more. I haven't even touched on heart burn (why won't it go away?!), my skin or my fear that I will never look like myself again, but we'll just say that those are pretty close to my heart too.

Just so you know, I'm not complaining. These are just the facts. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally ready and excited to be done with all this, but I know that it'll be quite worth it too. Josh and I bought a tent so that we can take Riley to the beach. Starting with the month after he is born, we will be going twice a week. (See, I haven't lost my "Go" attitude, though I may not physically be able to back it up).

Yes, it is amazing how much Riley has already invaded our lives. We installed the car seat, and I'm amazed at how much our car shrank. It looked so much bigger, even with two German shepherds in the back. Speaking of the dogs, Riley is also a big part of the reason why they will continue to live outdoors. They really seem to enjoy that, at least, though I really miss them. Big time. As Josh mentioned in his blog, Riley's stuff is everywhere. That is no exaggeration. The house is pretty big compared to the apartment we had, thank God. I'm not sure what we would have done with it all.

Still, I can't wait to see him. Any day now.

But he better wait until AFTER this weekend.