I'm a Newsie

If you're not into musicals then you probably don't know what a Newsie is but as of last Thursday, I am one.

Riley and I were sleeping on the couch and were awakened suddenly by a knock at the front door. Immediately my heart sank into my stomach. I just had a feeling it was bad news. Josh was upstairs getting out of the shower but I called up to him to get the door anyway. He must have heard the panic in my voice because he stopped whatever he was doing to come down and answer the door.

I hear Josh thank the guy at the door and watch from the window as he pulls away in his truck. Josh walks into the room with a piece of paper. "What's this?" he asks. Just as I thought, bad news.

There's nothing like being sued first thing in the morning.

So here's' the background. I did go to college for two years, I was a pre-law student and I was damn good if I do say so myself. The problem was I was also sixteen and ridiculously naive. (I'm pretty naive now, so imagine my state of mind four years ago.) Anyway, I got a decent amount of scholarships but the school I was attending was about $25,000 a year plus the cost of living. I had to take out loans. I had absolutely no guidance in this area. It's a long story, but my parents didn't agree in my choice of schools so I was pretty much on my own. It's not that I needed them financially, but a little guidance in the matter of taking out a loan would have been of great help. But...all that is in the past. Anyway, I left school in 2004 to get married and never returned.

May of 2006 a court clerk is knocking on my door to tell me I'm being sued by the school I was attending for an unpaid balance of over $2,000. Blah. Well, Wesley College is crap in the matter of paper work. Anyone who has ever tried to do anything with them knows that fact very well. They did contact me over the years to say that I owed them money, but no one was ever clear on exactly how much (the figure always changed) or what for (they never did give me proof). So, I just ignored them. Maybe that was stupid, but I thought they'd just go away. I knew I didn't owe them anything, their policy was pretty strict that if you had an unpaid balance, you weren't allowed to begin classes or move into the dorms. Well, I had done both by the beginning of the last semester I attended and was told my balance was paid in full. No biggie, right? God...I hate over-complications. Wesley is such a drama queen.

So I called the school asking for an itemized list of what I supposedly owe. They sent me a three page history of anything having to do with finances that I ever had there. Still, their total only came up to $1,000. So where is this $2,000 coming from that they are suing me for? That's basically what I said in my answer. Actually, my answer kicks butt. I have quite a bit of proof against them, plus I didn't pay for all those law classes for nothing. (Well, yeah I did but at least they could help me a little in writing up an official legal answer).

I got a job as a newsie anyway, because I am just the little guy and the little guy always loses. No matter how great an answer they may be able to put together. Wesley has an actual lawyer, who made it all the way through law school. I can't touch any effort that he may put forth, but at least I'm pretty sure I won't have to pay everything they are asking, unless they gave their lawyer a different list of charges than they gave me.

So now I am getting up at 2 am every day to deliver papers. It was the only job I could get that wouldn't really take me away from Riley. I don't care if the court runs off with everything I own, I'm not putting my son on formula and sticking him in a daycare. Yuck. All he knows now is that daddy feeds him in the middle of the night. I'm home by 7am (it will be closer to 6 when I get quicker at it) and I don't think he misses me at all. If anything, it has been really good for his relationship with Josh. I still hate it. I bawled my eyes out the first night I had to leave them.

I hate all this crap. I never should have gone to college. I've done so many different things with my life, closed and opened so many doors but college is the one and only regret I have. It had a lot to do with pressure, mostly from my parents but also a strong need to please everyone else. My whole family always strongly pushed education, some of them are a little snotty about this. I guess it's good news that now my parents have let up a little in this area. Mike has chosen not to go to college, and they haven't kicked him out of the house or even charged him rent. As a matter of fact, they are actually respectful of his decision saying things like, "Well college just isn't for him." I'm so jealous. I won't even try to hide that fact. I wish they had been that supportive of me. But that's one line I've been singing for a long time. Yeah, things are different now and I am extremely grateful for the relationship I have with them, especially my mom. I just wish I didn't have to deal with all the student loans hanging over my head like a death cloud. I really hate the way I feel like whining and blaming everything on them right now. Nobody put an actual gun to my head and made me choose Wesley or take out student loans but I won't say there wasn't a proverbial gun in the mix.

Everyone wants the best for their kids, but there needs to be a line drawn between that and living vicariously through them. I don't care if Riley grows up to be a trash collector. If he's happy, I'm happy. And that's the honest truth. Maybe I can say that's why I went through all that hell, so that Riley wouldn't have to. Maybe then I'd hate that part of my past a little less. Only time can tell.

'Till then, I've got to get some sleep before work tonight.