Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanksgiving Toast

Hehe. What's this? A positive post?

Anyway, it's been a fantastic year and this is the time to say what's been so great about it so here goes.

First of all, I'm thankful for my bestest friend. He's so hot. And he gets me. We can be stupid together, we can be totally serious (and just a little stupid), we can cry, laugh and yell. We can deal with whatever we have to deal with, and make it through. My lover, my man, my best friend. You know who you are.

I'm thankful for the littlest man who is not so little, I guess. My healthy little boy. He makes me smile first thing in the morning (which is not in my nature) and he's got the sweetest soul a human form can contain. To many more years of fun and laughs and firsts, Man.

I'm thankful because even though we haven't got much money, I get to spend my days taking care of my little guy and Josh has his dream job. We have a warm place to live, food on the table, the bills are paid (only slightly late) and we've even got cute, fluffy little dogs this year. We are where we've always dreamed of being and I can honestly say that, complaining aside, we love it here. This hundred year old house is Home. What more can you ask for.

I'm thankful for family and friends who we love ever so much. Even the ones far away. We miss you and we hope you're feeling just as warm and fuzzy as we are. And of course, if you're not, you've got a room here.

I'm am SO thankful for this season. Last years Christmas was a little sad but we're all together this year. I love love LOVE the lights and the music and the smells. I'm so excited to share it with Riley this year.

Okay I'm sure there's' much more. I'm going to get back to that family I've been going on about. Much love, peoples.

Much love. <3

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I hate Hollywood

So I was sitting around thinking about what to bitch on today...and this is it!

I actually really do hate Hollywood big time. I hate how people all over this country are suffering and these people roll around in huge piles of undeserved cash and then think they're so frigging wonderful for donating some of it to charities. And donating their time like it was so much more precious than mine or yours.

Whatever happened to the entertainment being lower than the people they entertain? Remember in school when you learned about Shakespeare and he was like dirt poor and all the actors were lower than peasants and the people they entertained were kings and queens? I want that! I mean...gawd. What did they do to deserve this ridiculous worship of the American people? If ever there was an example of how screwed our priorities are, this is it.

Off the top of my head I can think of at least twenty professions that ought to be paid even a fraction of what Hollywood makes. Doctors, teachers, ME. And if you know me I don't even care that much about money. I just don't want to worry about it. But the fact that someone can get paid millions just to play basketball REALLY pisses me off.

And because my man is in the biz I'll throw this out...the producers ought to make WAY more than the stupid actors and actresses. They do the real work. Are you with me?! I don't care if you are, I know I'm right. It's like the country woke up someday and said, "I think I want to pay people for being pretty. Screw talent, screw hard work, screw the average person and the national deficit, let's blow cash on NOTHING!" And then everybody gave a big cheer and blew bubbles. Beautiful.

Not that I don't enjoy a good movie or show. I think they're a fantastic waste of time and I don't know what I'd do without them sometimes. (Except Mario...now those are some people who deserve their money!) I just think we can get it for a lot less. It's too late now, but what if we said, "Ya know what, we've been putting up with this for way too long. You all are going to entertain us, and you're going to do it for a reasonable price." Seriously. Why does Britney Spears have a bigger house than you? What makes her so damn special? Can she actually sing? Is she even really that good of a dancer? If it weren't for Hollywood she'd be down the street at the new strip club just like the rest of the kinda pretty local girls.

What is incredible are those movies like Shrek and the new penguin one. Somebody worked hard on that. Not to mention cute as hell. But the voice actors should make even less. You don't even have to be cute to make a cartoon.

I don't know what I'm saying. It's irritating. Almost as irritating as people who can't spell "Canadian". Especially the ones who actually are Canadian... And they judge our school system.

But I don't hate Canada. Not today anyway. <3

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Worth your weight in Gold

I've heard the saying before and I guess I always thought it was pretty stupid. What does it mean, anyway? I think I know now, but I sure as hell wish I didn't. Some lessons are just hard learned.

For some reason, I had decided not to post my true feelings about the Quixtar business we were in or the people in it on here earlier. Who knows why. I'm calling it my "Business hang-over". But here it is, folks. The truth is gonna getcha.

Right before we got out, we introduced this other couple to Mark and Karen. Very soon after, we felt the need to leave. We didn't know why at the time, I'm going to say Divine Intervention. Anyway, our parting was very bitter. Mark, who had claimed to be very close friends with us, made all kinds of accusations and basically treated us very badly for making this decision. Later, they found out that we were going to have a baby and that we were moving and we didn't get any kind of phone call from him until he decided he wanted some books and stuff back from us. He was a complete fake and I'm having a hard time even finding a place to begin telling you exactly how bad this guy was. The problem is they were so under handed. They really made us believe that they loved us, that we were doing what was the best for our future and more than anything, that their relationship with us had nothing to do with the money we were (or were not) making them.

When you're in "the business" you believe these things. I can't explain it, but you do. I'm going to boil it down to good old fashioned brain washing. Hopefully, you'll see what I mean.

The problem with the whole "we are friends no matter what you do for us" story is the fact that they take every possible opportunity to tell you that if you don't do what they want, they won't hang out with you. Mark didn't go on a family cruise because there was a business conference during the same week. He said, "I'm doing what's best for me and my wife." If I was his mother, I would have kicked his ass. But that's off topic. He told us all the time that he never hung out with his old friends because they weren't in the business, and they always suggested that we (his team) should do the same. When the men are educated in "contacting" a sport otherwise known as hunting, they are basically told to make friends with people...until they turn you down. Then move on to the next piece of meat.

Okay...well that's just the nature of the sales business, you say. My issue with that is the big no-no of disguising your business with God. Mark and Karen and the rest of the leaders in the business made us believe they really cared about people. Yeah...you care about people who can make you money. They were constantly calling themselves Christian, inviting members of their team to church and pushing that agenda all the while not really giving a lick about anyone of them. It's been a while since I've participated in church, but if I remember correctly the basic idea behind Christianity is spreading it. If the leaders in the business were really Christians, and they honestly cared about people (and their souls) then wouldn't they, when out contacting, if not share the business, at least share their faith? If they can get out on the street and talk to complete strangers about making themselves rich, could they not get out there and talk about God?

I can't say that none of the business leaders do that, though I've never heard that any of them did, but I know our up line didn't. In fact, we were encouraged not to speak to anyone about anything except the business. Church is for Sunday, people. But don't forget to hit up your youth group for possible victims. Otherwise, prepare to be labeled as "unmotivated".

I have a lot to say about the business and what it contributed to my mental and emotional instability but it's been a long weekend and I can't seem to find all the words. Besides the fact that our supposed "friends" dropped us like hot two-dollar pistols the moment we started to doubt our place in the business, they probably continue to bring us up in stories of what can happen to you when you just can't hang. They did it all the time when people left for various reasons. For example...

Their best friends from college. Really amazing, young Christian couple. I actually liked them, they were good people. One day we noticed that their names were missing from Mark and Karen's little chart of people they'd victimized. When we asked what happened to them, Mark got a really (fake) sad look on his face and said, "They gave up. They are going into the ministry full time. They think they're supposed to be missionaries." He continued to explain how his ministry is through his business and he thought that his friends ought to do the same.

Let me get this straight, Mr. Chrisitanguy. You're saying that your friends went to go do God's work full time and you're sad because they didn't do it your way? I guess he didn't read the part about love of money. And, by the way, who's God in this picture? It always seemed to me that Mark thought he was in charge, and now I know he really thinks he knows everything. I mean...he knows so much as to be able to tell everyone else what God has planned for their life, right? He tried to say the same thing to Josh and I when we left. We didn't buy it. Thank God. The real one.

I guess that's the reason I didn't write something like this sooner. I personally believe it takes all kinds of people to make this world go 'round and that God has different things in mind for everyone. I think you should do what really makes you happy, follow your passion. I guess I thought Mark and Karen and the rest of them had a right to be passionate about the business, even if I wasn't into it anymore. But, as I came out of my post-business haze, I realized that for a year straight they had taught us, and taught us to tell others, that the business is the ONLY way to live life. It's the ONLY real ministry and other people of the world are delusional with their nine to fives and all.

That theory is of course as stupid as the one of evolution because it just isn't possible. If everyone were to do the business and no one had a real job, there would be no products to sell, no one to sign up and the whole thing would flop. We'd be worse off than when we started. But like I said...when you're in it you just don't see these things.

In the business, a person is only worth as much money as they can make you. If they're not making you money, find someone else who will. That's their motto. They have t-shirts and everything. (Of course I'm being sarcastic, if only these people were that easy to spot.)

Today Josh and I attended an event at church and his mom introduced us to this guy who had been sitting at her table. He seemed nice enough, even kind of amusing. We talked about church, kids, he even went so far as to say "It's amazing how you just walk past people without even trying to learn about them." Then he kind of separated Josh and I from the group and gently eased into the conversation that he was part of an internet business. (Josh said I rolled my eyes at this point, which I didn't do on purpose but...yeah.) Josh let him do a little of his shpeel and then finally let him know that we weren't interested. After that the guy pretty much walked away. I mean...he'd seemed so interested but it was all just a lead up to see if he could get what he wanted. When he found out he couldn't, he left. Probably to find someone new. I sure as hell hope he didn't.

I hate the fact that we were used and so delusional and that we actually tried to do the same to our own friends and family. Of course in our defense we were working under the pretense that we were doing them a favor. And I guess that's another reason why I hesitated to write this post before. In their own way, I guess Mark and Karen think they're doing the right thing. You don't see it until you get out. We have an edge over them now, we've had it both ways. They talk about being "free" all the time, but what's free about having other people completely run your life?

The truth will (really) set you free.

Friday, November 10, 2006

White is the new Black

I guess my new thing to complain about is Oprah. I honestly am stuck watching it most days but I'll say this...at least disagreeing with her so much gets my brain juice going again. I guess I'm one of those people who just always has to be angry about something. Good thing I live in America. Oh, which by the way, I'm totally psyched because all the democrats are in power again and I can't wait to watch them screw up. Hahah! It's MY time now, bitches! Maybe I'll go back to the old forums and post every freakin screw up they make and laugh and laugh.....

Okay I'm not really that pathetic. Yet.

So...back to Oprah. I don't know...she was talking about something called High school Challenge Day where all the students learn to love one another and soon the whole country will be immersed in beautiful hippy love. Right. But what irritated me was the way she kept saying to the black kids, "I can't believe in this day and age you are still being persecuted because of your race." Then she said to the senior class, "If you've ever been picked on because of your race, raise your hand." Then they dutifully showed all the black kids raising their hands. Little did they know I was sitting in my living room, raising my hand saying, "So was I!"

I'm white. I have Irish and Italian blood and I basically look like a white girl. 'Nuff said. And I don't know about you but I NEVER EVER saw any black kids being picked on for their race. Actually, in my school, the white kids were scared to death of the black kids. Let me chronicle my "persecution" as a white girl:

Kindergarten: A black boy (who was much older than me) attacked me on the school bus and literally tried to forced my head through a closed, glass window. He just kept banging it on the glass, calling me names and I guess trying to kill me or something. My mom went to the principal to have this boy expelled and we were told that the school couldn't do that. Because he was black.

Middle School: Black girls teased me to the point of tears every day. They hung around only with other black girls and made sure my life was miserable. They broke into my locker and stole stuff from me and what they didn't steal they threw all over the school halls. Then they put their black girl grease in my brush (undetectable to naked eye) so that when I brushed my hair I got greasy crap all in it. They got physical with me on several occasions. Again, nothing was done to reprimand them because they were black.

High School: A VERY large black guy tried to rape me on the school bus on the way home. Again, we went to the principal to have him punished and it turns out I was not the only (white) female to experience this, unfortunately the guy was black and a senior so the school didn't want him to miss graduation. I think they get money based on how many blacks they graduate.

So to say the least I'm a little irritated with the special treatment. What makes it worse is the fact that it's completely disguised because they can just go around saying, "Well I'm black so I need this." and they freakin get it...even though there's already a ton of programs out there for them, they get more scholarships, more state aide, whatever. These people aren't being discriminated against, I am!

I know...slave trade blah blah blah. What they don't tell you in school is that every other race who came to this country were treated horribly too. Maybe not slaves, but beaten to death, discriminated against, run out of town, denied jobs...that kind of stuff. Ask the Irish. I forget the movie, but the one with Leonardo Dicaprio and it's set in Old New York...it's about the persecution of the Irish in America I believe. The Italians were treated badly too. But for some reason we have to give restitution only to the blacks. Our children are only taught about Black history month and are allowed to be beat up on by blacks simply because...they are black.

Talk to me about what it's like to have my skin color this day and age. I think we've paid them our dues, no? I don't expect special treatment for the years I was tortured by those kids and the school system completely ignored it. I'm sure as hell not going to give them any special treatment. Too bad I'm not like...in power or anything. But I will say this, I don't take any shit from them anymore.

I gotta stop watching this crap.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Blah state of Mind

So Riley takes his afternoon nap during Oprah. We also only get like super basic cable, so my options during the day are very few. At four o'clock when the man falls asleep (on top of me I might add) I am stuck with either court t.v. or Oprah. If you've read any of my other posts or if you've even seen the back of my car, you know my politics and Oprah's differ just a little. I actually think she's very bias, and she talks about black suffrage as if it were still going on, and it happens to be my opinion that blacks get more opportunities these days than any other race. But...eh. That's another post.

What I'm getting at is the story from Friday's Oprah. She had Jessica Coleman on via satellite. If you don't remember, she's the girl who had a baby in her bedroom, stabbed it and dumped it in a river. Six years later they find her and stick her in jail and now she's on Oprah, boo-hooing about her pathetic existence. There's a special place in hell for people like her. What struck me though, besides the obvious, was the fact that no one happened to bring up the point that six years ago (and of course today) abortion was completely legal. And probably confidential, though I don't know for sure what the laws are in her state. If this is the mentality, that abortion is an great option for young, confused women to destroy unwanted pregnancies thus avoiding the obvious stab and dump option, then why wasn't it even brought up? I dunno...maybe it's just me but I kept expecting Oprah to ask ever so gently, "So Jessica, why not get the abortion you had every right to get? God knows we Dems right hard for your right to have the option."

I'm not saying that getting rid of abortion is going to change the world (though it very well may. Who knows what potential the unborn have) I guess I was just irritated by the fact that the topic was just ignored. You know everyone was thinking it. I'm completely against killing babies at any stage in life, personally.

And then today in one of those horrible political adds, I saw one candidate call another "Anti-choice" which is a new term for me. Anti-choice, huh. So I guess one could retaliate with the "Well you're anti-babies!" or better yet "I'm rubber you're glue!" and stick a big tongue out. Yeah...that's basically what I think of politics these days.

Also, I heard on the news today that they're picketing something about late term abortions outside of the White House. That can't be good. I mean I just can't remember the last time I saw a...well to put it in their terms...Anti-choice rally. Most these days are basically a big mob opposing anything except abortion. It's a woman's right to put a stick of dynamite in her hoo-hoo if she damn well pleases and I won't hear about anything else!

Blah. There's just no point to a late-term abortion and everyone knows it. Even their best friends science and medicine say there's just no medical reason a woman would ever have to have one. So there.

Ugh. I need to get out more.