Worth your weight in Gold

I've heard the saying before and I guess I always thought it was pretty stupid. What does it mean, anyway? I think I know now, but I sure as hell wish I didn't. Some lessons are just hard learned.

For some reason, I had decided not to post my true feelings about the Quixtar business we were in or the people in it on here earlier. Who knows why. I'm calling it my "Business hang-over". But here it is, folks. The truth is gonna getcha.

Right before we got out, we introduced this other couple to Mark and Karen. Very soon after, we felt the need to leave. We didn't know why at the time, I'm going to say Divine Intervention. Anyway, our parting was very bitter. Mark, who had claimed to be very close friends with us, made all kinds of accusations and basically treated us very badly for making this decision. Later, they found out that we were going to have a baby and that we were moving and we didn't get any kind of phone call from him until he decided he wanted some books and stuff back from us. He was a complete fake and I'm having a hard time even finding a place to begin telling you exactly how bad this guy was. The problem is they were so under handed. They really made us believe that they loved us, that we were doing what was the best for our future and more than anything, that their relationship with us had nothing to do with the money we were (or were not) making them.

When you're in "the business" you believe these things. I can't explain it, but you do. I'm going to boil it down to good old fashioned brain washing. Hopefully, you'll see what I mean.

The problem with the whole "we are friends no matter what you do for us" story is the fact that they take every possible opportunity to tell you that if you don't do what they want, they won't hang out with you. Mark didn't go on a family cruise because there was a business conference during the same week. He said, "I'm doing what's best for me and my wife." If I was his mother, I would have kicked his ass. But that's off topic. He told us all the time that he never hung out with his old friends because they weren't in the business, and they always suggested that we (his team) should do the same. When the men are educated in "contacting" a sport otherwise known as hunting, they are basically told to make friends with people...until they turn you down. Then move on to the next piece of meat.

Okay...well that's just the nature of the sales business, you say. My issue with that is the big no-no of disguising your business with God. Mark and Karen and the rest of the leaders in the business made us believe they really cared about people. Yeah...you care about people who can make you money. They were constantly calling themselves Christian, inviting members of their team to church and pushing that agenda all the while not really giving a lick about anyone of them. It's been a while since I've participated in church, but if I remember correctly the basic idea behind Christianity is spreading it. If the leaders in the business were really Christians, and they honestly cared about people (and their souls) then wouldn't they, when out contacting, if not share the business, at least share their faith? If they can get out on the street and talk to complete strangers about making themselves rich, could they not get out there and talk about God?

I can't say that none of the business leaders do that, though I've never heard that any of them did, but I know our up line didn't. In fact, we were encouraged not to speak to anyone about anything except the business. Church is for Sunday, people. But don't forget to hit up your youth group for possible victims. Otherwise, prepare to be labeled as "unmotivated".

I have a lot to say about the business and what it contributed to my mental and emotional instability but it's been a long weekend and I can't seem to find all the words. Besides the fact that our supposed "friends" dropped us like hot two-dollar pistols the moment we started to doubt our place in the business, they probably continue to bring us up in stories of what can happen to you when you just can't hang. They did it all the time when people left for various reasons. For example...

Their best friends from college. Really amazing, young Christian couple. I actually liked them, they were good people. One day we noticed that their names were missing from Mark and Karen's little chart of people they'd victimized. When we asked what happened to them, Mark got a really (fake) sad look on his face and said, "They gave up. They are going into the ministry full time. They think they're supposed to be missionaries." He continued to explain how his ministry is through his business and he thought that his friends ought to do the same.

Let me get this straight, Mr. Chrisitanguy. You're saying that your friends went to go do God's work full time and you're sad because they didn't do it your way? I guess he didn't read the part about love of money. And, by the way, who's God in this picture? It always seemed to me that Mark thought he was in charge, and now I know he really thinks he knows everything. I mean...he knows so much as to be able to tell everyone else what God has planned for their life, right? He tried to say the same thing to Josh and I when we left. We didn't buy it. Thank God. The real one.

I guess that's the reason I didn't write something like this sooner. I personally believe it takes all kinds of people to make this world go 'round and that God has different things in mind for everyone. I think you should do what really makes you happy, follow your passion. I guess I thought Mark and Karen and the rest of them had a right to be passionate about the business, even if I wasn't into it anymore. But, as I came out of my post-business haze, I realized that for a year straight they had taught us, and taught us to tell others, that the business is the ONLY way to live life. It's the ONLY real ministry and other people of the world are delusional with their nine to fives and all.

That theory is of course as stupid as the one of evolution because it just isn't possible. If everyone were to do the business and no one had a real job, there would be no products to sell, no one to sign up and the whole thing would flop. We'd be worse off than when we started. But like I said...when you're in it you just don't see these things.

In the business, a person is only worth as much money as they can make you. If they're not making you money, find someone else who will. That's their motto. They have t-shirts and everything. (Of course I'm being sarcastic, if only these people were that easy to spot.)

Today Josh and I attended an event at church and his mom introduced us to this guy who had been sitting at her table. He seemed nice enough, even kind of amusing. We talked about church, kids, he even went so far as to say "It's amazing how you just walk past people without even trying to learn about them." Then he kind of separated Josh and I from the group and gently eased into the conversation that he was part of an internet business. (Josh said I rolled my eyes at this point, which I didn't do on purpose but...yeah.) Josh let him do a little of his shpeel and then finally let him know that we weren't interested. After that the guy pretty much walked away. I mean...he'd seemed so interested but it was all just a lead up to see if he could get what he wanted. When he found out he couldn't, he left. Probably to find someone new. I sure as hell hope he didn't.

I hate the fact that we were used and so delusional and that we actually tried to do the same to our own friends and family. Of course in our defense we were working under the pretense that we were doing them a favor. And I guess that's another reason why I hesitated to write this post before. In their own way, I guess Mark and Karen think they're doing the right thing. You don't see it until you get out. We have an edge over them now, we've had it both ways. They talk about being "free" all the time, but what's free about having other people completely run your life?

The truth will (really) set you free.