Buzz Kill

So apparently I'm too negative. Or, okay my posts are negative. I mean...I totally agree. Here's the thing though, what do you want me to write about?? This is life, our country, the world. You can deny it all you want, put a little love in your world, a big old fake smile on your face 24-7 but I'm a Realist. I actually consider myself to be extremely aware of the little things in life. I'm all about it. You know, nature, my family, sleeping in stuff like that. The free stuff. I dig.

Of course that doesn't erase the fact that outside of my own little bubble, things are pretty screwed up. Actually, my bubble gets a little dirty from time to time. That's okay. I'm a regular girl. It happens. Not to worry, things usually have a way of working out. That's pretty much my philosophy. Josh and I have run into so many random problems that we pretty much just let it roll off of us these days. I mean...he'll freak out about new jeans not fitting quite right once he gets them home but for the most part, he's pretty chill. [Hah...love ya babe]

I've found a new hobby in screaming at cats. You just have to do a video search on Myspace for "guy screaming at cats" to find out what I mean. Warning, this is not for the faint of heart. Or...those afraid of a little cursing. The cats are fine. It's the guy you should worry about. Hahaha.

Also, the man has taken to sleeping on his own and not only that, he will take two hour naps by himself in his own crib. If you don't have babies you have no idea why that makes me oh-so happy. Let me just say...It's a winner.

The Quixtar thing...I'm working on it. I haven't read much lately because of the holidays and all. I'm gonna be back on track with everything after the new year, promise. I'm also catching up on some of Ann's articles so...bring on the negative, baby. I guess if you can't stand the heat...well. Whatever. Actually, the ban on negativity that was so big in Quixtar is what made me wary of it in the first place. First they tell you they love you and they're your best friend, BUT you can only talk about the good things in your life? Some best friend. Life is about both ends of the spectrum, and everything in between. It is what it is and you need people who can put up with you in sunshine and rain. That's kind of the point, in my opinion. Find those few people and you're pretty much set. Bad things are gonna happen. Internalizing them does not help. And...if you think I'm good now just wait until I get a therapist. Hah!

I guess I'm really just trying to say this: I don't consider it negative. I consider it the truth. How can the truth be one thing or another? It simply is what it is. You just have to accept that not everything in life is roses, and that's OKAY. A lot of what's happened in my own life so far hasn't exactly been pretty. Does that make my story a negative one? I don't think so.

I guess it's just what you make of it. On one of those stupid survey things I was once asked, "What's the biggest buzz kill?" My answer, Reality. I guess some people prefer to walk around in some kind of life-haze. Not this girl.

Truth, please. And serve it hot.

Uncovering Quixtar Pt.1

I feel like I'm in my own little version of the Divinci Code. I mean...I've never seen the movie but from what I've heard. Eh...okay I'll put it this way: This crap is freakin weird and even more twisted than I originally thought.

I've been reading Merchants of Deception by Eric Schiebler in order to get my questions about the whole "business" thing answered. He was one of the big guns in the beginning and now he's writing this book (which is a free download) to inform the public of the evil that is Quixtar.

I'm a little confused. He seems to have quite an attitude towards the Republican party (and I agree I'm a wee sensitive to this) and that is throwing me off. I know the Diamonds in the biz seemed to push the Righty agenda, but it never seemed overwhelming to me. It's not like they were huge on it. I never heard them criticize homosexuals, or NOW or anything like that like Eric claims. I'm not saying he's wrong. He was part of a different team, after all.

But then today I came across this quote in the book, and it disturbed me pretty deeply.

"Rich DeVos [Amway Founder] is one of the most energetic and dedicated Christian laymen I have ever known. I am never in his presence that I don't feel his strength of character and dedication to the things of God. "

-Billy Graham.




Uhhh...what? I'm not huge on Christians. I think they tend to be on the fake side whatever blah blah we've been through this. BUT...Billy Graham. I admit, I don't think I have personally heard him speak, but he's supposed to be like...IT. Ya know? I mean if he can't smell a rat, who can? Unless of course...he is also a rat.

I think that's what Eric is getting at. I'm a little nervous. On his website [merchantsofdeception.com] he has an entire article on how closely knit Amway (aka Quixtar) and the Republican party are as far as finances go. I'm not sure I understand it, but it makes me physically ill.

These people were my heros.

If you're in to the story behind the Masons (touched on by the movie National Treasure) then you'd probably love the Amway story. It's a modern day version of lies, secrets, scandal, deception and it goes way deeper and is more important than would be obvious upon first glance.

When I first started looking into this, I had no idea what I was getting in to. Now I wish I could take it back.

Who do I look up to now??

Stuff...

I guess it's been almost a month. I keep coming up with things to write about in my head but my head is like those ticker things they use in the New York stock exchange and I can't.friggin.keep.up.

I'm doing that now, being weird with my typing. You probably noticed my grammar is out of whack most of the time but the truth is English is just about the only thing I know. I'm very good at writing, reading, verbal expression in general but...I just like to type in the same style I think. Thus why my sentences are often started with prepositional phrases. I'm simply that cool.

I've been taking these personality tests at similiarminds.com because I think they're actually scientific and because I'm kind of interested in that psychology bull AND because I'm bored between 12 and 1 a.m. I stay up that late for a little time to just be ME and apparently, online quizzes are what me likes to do these days.

But I'm pretty dead tired right now which is why this post will suck. Just to let you know.

Oh...but anyway so I take these personality tests and I got some results that I thought were pretty on and I tried posting it in here because they said that they had the code. Yet, mystically, when I tried to post my results Blogger said the code was missing something. Obviously I won't be fixing it. I'm not that cool. Though I did learn how to italicize.

We're going to have some people over to watch the first season of Lost...AGAIN. I like the people but I'm sick to friggin death of Lost. I have my reasons.

Well I quit. I'm too tired for this.