Here we go again

I'm don't believe in disclaimers. I think if you're going to say something, you should just say it and be completely honest about how you feel. In this case, I am making an exception.

Disclaimer: This blog reflects my personal feelings and nothing else. It does not necessarily reflect the feelings of my husband (unless otherwise stated) or anyone else I am related to in any way. I don't mean any harm, emotional or otherwise, to anyone whom I might mention here. I stay as close to the facts as I possibly can, but most of what I post here is an emotional response to my experiences. I realize that when the truth is told, feelings often get hurt and things can get uncomfortable but truth has always been more important to me than comfort. That being said...

We went to church yesterday. Something about it sets me off. Maybe not necessarily this church in particular, but all churches. I think it's no secret how I feel about organized religion, Christianity being one of them. There's just no trust there for me at all. Perhaps it comes from being led by the nose by those awful Quixtar people, but whenever I sit in a congregation of people, I have the sickening feeling I'm being lied to.

When it comes to being lied to about my eternal soul, I tend to be pretty cautious.

Of course, there's no real way of knowing. I'm sure about some people who are absolutely not trustworthy. Unfortunately, a few of them are in power. I believe part of what I'm struggling with is the dying image of what our parents told us church and Christianity were. These things are not true, or atleast, no longer true.

I think I have the rather odd (and increasingly unpopular) gift of knowing right from wrong. It's very black and white to me and when I know something is wrong, I have a very difficult time ignoring it. It's damn near impossible for me. So if you're not livin' right, steer clear. Haha.

I don't mean that to sound judgmental, though I think I'd make a pretty good judge. A real judge, not one of those "judges". You know.

Oh there's so much I could say. It only amounts to wasted words and time, though.

But I do have a couple of new and meaningful ideas I've been thinking about so maybe we'll hear from those soon.

We're going to continue going to church until we either find a place that really fits us or get sick of it altogether again. The man really enjoys the nursery. That maybe be our single biggest reason for going. We went looking for something that I believe doesn't exist anymore (and no, I don't mean God).

We have a big weekend coming up that I probably shouldn't write anything about. So I'll be taking my frustrations out elsewhere.