Gah!

I'm quite aware that life is not fair. I think you learn that as soon as you start school and you realize your whole life isn't just about naps and cookies and Christmas.

I'm not so surprised when bad things happen to good people. That's just life. It's a sinful world and the actions of bad people are bound to touch the innocent. If not, there wouldn't be crack babies. I mean, honestly.

But what does surprise and irritate the hell out of me is the fact that good things happen to bad people. Where's the justice in that? I've been told time and again that God does not cause bad things to happen to people, he allows it. I don't understand that, but it makes more sense than a supposedly just God allowing good things to happen to people who certainly do not deserve it.

Yes, I believe in punishment. Josh even goes so far as to call me "mean" when I believe people have done wrong and they need to feel the consequences of those actions. I'm not saying that I think I have the right to do the punishing. I never do. Though, if given the chance, I will verbally put people in place who offend me or my loved ones. But that's not what I mean.

I mean whatever happened to plagues and turning people into pillars of salt? Haha...but seriously.

I know I've done some bad things. But really, I haven't. I've never intentionally harmed anyone. I've never gone out of my way to do the wrong thing. I'm the good girl, believe it or not. Yeah, we got into some harmless trouble as kids. No, I didn't wait until I was 21 to have my first drink. I'm not perfect and I know it. I also believe that I have been punished in this world, and that I have more to come when I die. I just know that's how it works.

So how is it that good things happen to bad people? Why??

I just don't have the answer today. Maybe I never will.