Josh and I have the reasons for not going to church sorted quite well in our own heads. The problem has been explaining it to others. Mostly because we know they won't understand. I tried to explain my reasons to my mother, and she said I was being closed minded. I happen to think it's quite the opposite. See, Josh and I would have no opposition if we just pretended we were okay with the whole thing and started showing up every Sunday. The family would be thrilled. But we truly believe in this and so we are taking a stand.
My biggest problem is I have been wounded by the church. Not just once, but many times covering many years. It always seems to be the same problem, too. Maybe one day I'll go deeper into everything that happened, but not today because that's not the point. Because I have been wounded, I find it very difficult to explain to friends and family why I dont go to church without bringing up my hurtful past. To be quite honest, the reasons I dont go doesn't have too much to do with being hurt.
I think Josh's problem with explaining it is because he knows he wont be accepted by his family. He was taught, and they all believe, that you just go, every week without exception. I think he has a hard time wrapping his mind around opposing them sometimes. I think everyone can understand that. There are things my family does, and no matter how crazy, I find it hard to come face to face with them about it. (Not that going to church is crazy, you know what I mean.)
Just to be clear, my feelings for God have never changed. In fact, without the church clouting my view of the human race and God's love for it, I feel like I know Him even better. When you aren't bound by doctrine, politics, and other people's opinions, then you have room to visit every aspect of God's personality. There is nothing more interesting, in my opinion. I had a teacher at Valley Forge that taught the Bible in such a raw and beautiful form. It was exactly the truth, and nothing else. Sometimes, it went against what is normally taught in the church. But my question is, would you rather know what the rest of the group knows and be happy with that regardless of the truth? Or would you rather go against the group and know the REAL truth? Interpretation only goes so far.
I am in no way assuming I know everything. I'm simply saying that finding out the truth about the Bible and it's history was so much more enlightening than anything I had ever learned in church. Why don't they teach that kind of thing there? The common people don't need to know? I disagree. I think they should know what the pastors know. I think they should have the facts.
As I said, my feelings for God have not changed. At least, not for the worse. I will admit that my feelings for the Christian people, have. It might be all too obvious by everything I've posted thus far, but I'm not too fond of Christians. I think they've done more to harm the people of the world than to help them. (Ugh, I dont want to get into this today...) I think they're elitest. I think they speak out and whine about things like music and homosexuality (I could write a friggin book on that...) within their own groups, but when it comes to making an actual difference in the world, their lips are sealed. Yeah, they might donate money. But the world doesn't know anything about the love of God based on the way modern Christians act. There...I said it. The only people we see actually doing something, are the ones they're embarrassed of. You know what I mean, the ones who bomb abortion clinics. But at least they are doing something! The last time abortion was spoken of in church, the pastor said something to the effect of "abortion is wrong" and all God's people murmured and nodded. Hmm. I'm young yet and I have much work to do on this planet but even I have picked up a picket sign. Theres just so much wrong with that picture. I think the Pregnancy Care Center down here does the best job in this department. I think they need help in relating to the young generation who needs them, but there is a special place in heaven for the people who volunteer there.
And then there's the Christian figure heads which everyone is so in love with until they screw up. The first time I ever heard of this was when Amy Grant got divorced. Suddenly, everybody hated her. They refused to play her music on their radio stations, sell her CD's and pretty soon even her name became taboo. I just don't understand this very public disregard for one of God's children. The poor woman was going through one of the worst things she'd ever have to experience, and her entire faith had rejected her. (Good to know, God Himself did not reject her, the church did. But...the American public doesn't get to see that.) So what did divorced women around the world think? I suppose they didn't start going to church that year. I suppose they didn't start looking to God for comfort, as they have been told by His church that he wouldn't hear from them now that they have become "unclean".
Now it comes to my attention (though I can't remember his name) that yet another figure of Christianity has been found to be gay. Naturally, he totally banned. Ack! This couldn't be more aggrevating. What's one of the biggest attacks against the American family these days? You got it, homosexuality. What is the only cure for this? God. Well, I'm afraid that just isn't going to happen now that the church has once again turned their backs on the gays. And again, very publically. I think they think that this is what they are supposed to do. That is exactly why I refuse to be associated with them.
Josh and I had a very interesting conversation about this the other day. We went to get hair cuts, and the man who cut my hair was very openly gay. I loved him to death, he was such a character. After we left, Josh was speculating as to why people are so afraid of them (homosexuals). The conversation went something like this:
Josh: "Well I'm not afraid of them. I can talk to them and whatever, but I guess if they started kissing and stuff that would freak me out."
Me: "Yeah, but they're just regular people. And I think the only reason they feel the need to be so weird about it is because people make such a big deal about them being gay. Honestly, they're just hurting like the rest of us. We all just have different ways of showing it. For example, my dad drinks. Some people do drugs...you know."
Josh:"Yeah, sometimes I drink or curse or something. What do you do?"
Me: (laugh) "Well, I'm spiteful. And bitter."
I know I've gotten a little off topic, but to me it all relates. My biggest problem with the church is the lack of love they show the world (and each other!). I think they've been taught for so long "not to love the world" that they forgot what that actually means. God commissioned us to love one another, and we sincerely have to try. I find it hard to love Christians. They find that hard to believe because they are just perfect little teddies in their own eyes. I'm not sure what the cure for that is, but I know it's not cherry flavored. The church will come to a reckoning of the damage they are doing with their own pride and politics or they will suffer very painful consequences. It just takes a little spine to go against the flow.
So the point of all this was to post a really great article that Josh found yesterday. It really sums up (in much more gentler words) what we are feeling about the church, and why we don't go. If you are interested, and you have the time, I highly suggest you check it out. It's very good reading.
Here's my favorite part, just to give you a taste:
"I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!
I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution."
And if that isn't enough...here's the link. Do yourself a favor and check it out.
Don't be a sheep.
7 comments:
Now see, I'm not a very religous person. Neither is my family. I was raised Catholic and always got in trouble in Sunday school for asking to many questions that the teachers couldn't answer. Its not that I don't believe in God, because I do. I just don't see the point in organized religion. I think it has caused a lot of problems. I mean just look at this religous group. . .
http://www.godhatesamerica.com/
Damn. I lost my train of thought. I started looking through that site and just wanted to throw my chair. Ok. Cheers!
I hate 'religous people' too, Tim. Mostly because they do think like salesmen, directly impacting the world in a negative way.
One thing Lindsey didn't say is that while she was getting her hair cut, I was talking to a guy about this very thing. I am convinced that he didn't hear a single word that came out of my mouth after "I don't go to church". After all I said about how I don't like the church and what it does to people his reply was something like: "So we meet on Wednesdays at 8:00, you should come out sometime, seriously."
I was nice...but that will only last for so long.
With that said, ...Babe, someone needs to get you your own column. Well spoken. I guess now I don't have to post. :o)
I honestly dont get organized religion either. I don't think it was ever God's intention.
Why couldn't your Sunday school teachers answer your questions? There are probably many reasons, but I believe the biggest one to be that the church entrusts it's children to people who have no clue what they're doing. I find it quite obvious that the church places little value in it's youth at all. Thus, why you will never see Riley in any Sunday school room.
Babe, you should still post. Its good therapy. ;-]
Now I'm gonna go read Tim's link. I think I smell another post coming on.
Ah, the topic of religion. Josh could tell you about the posts and conversations that my family has had on this topic, although he and I have only really had one conversation about it that I can recall. I grew up in a very strict Christian environment. And I mean strict. We went to a church for many years, my middle name is actually from the pastor of that church - but shortly after he confessed to adultery and left the church, my parents left that church because the new pastor had a more contemporary style. By that, I mainly mean they started introducing drums into the church. That was evil in my parent's eyes, so we left. I could go on and on about things that were considered evil by my parents and their friends, but simply put - most of modern Christianity was considered to be walking the "broad" path in their eyes. It wasn't until my junior year in high school that I was allowed to go to youth group/Sunday school, or whatever you want to call it. I enjoyed it, as I made many friends my age that I normally wouldn't have made since I was homeschooled (that's a completely other topic as to why I was homeschooled).
As the years have gone by, I started to realize that the church wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I started doing my own research into history and religion...and to make a long story short, I went back and forth with my family, pastors, as well as some pretty well-respected religious leaders of our time that my family has some ties to - and I couldn't help but notice that all their answers to my questions came down to basically one thing: a circle.
Most conversations went like this:
Me: "Why do you believe that Jesus was the son of God?"
Other: "Because the Bible says so."
Me: "And why is the Bible true?"
Other: "Because in [insert Biblical reference], it says it's the Word of God."
Me: "But isn't it true that the Bible was cannonized by that early Catholic church? How do a group of men have the authority to decide what is God's word?"
Other: "They were well respected men of God that were doing His will."
Me: "How do you know that?"
Other: "Because in [insert Biblical reference], it says so."
And on and on. Quotes aren't exact, obvious - but basically that's what happened. The Bible is true because the Bible says its true, and a bunch of "Godly" men said so. But what about all the "Godly" men that we respect today? You hear about the Catholic priests and the little children, the Christian evangilists stealing money and cheating innocent people out of possessions, etc. -- and these are our "Godly" people today. How do we know that they weren't just as corrupt, if not moreso, in the past?
Anyway, I'm off topic now. Basically, I realized that I couldn't believe anyone else's interpretation of God's meanings behind his writings. Obviously, any religion requires faith. You have to have faith that there is a God, to begin with. But beyond that, it's between you and God what you believe. No one else can account for your beliefs, so how can anyone else tell you what to believe? Modern Christianity is built around telling and "converting" others to believe what the Christian leaders of our day believe. If you don't believe what they do, then you're labeled a "sinner", and they'll do all they can to make you believe what they do. I'll wrap up now, but simply put: I'm not a Christian. Of course I can continue, and I'm more than happy to share my beliefs if anyone is interested, but I make it a point to go against my Christian upbringing and try to convert everyone I see to my own beliefs...I just don't believe it to be right. Sorry to post such a long comment :)
Don't be sorry, that was a great comment, and a very interesting part of your story. Maybe someday I'll go into all the details of what I've experienced at the hands of the church, but it seems like pretty much everyone's story is the same. I have an incredible book from school that explains the Bible, where it came from, the truth about who wrote it, what parts are missing and ect.
I'll have to find it and send it on to you. :-]
...That explains the Metal!
"...That explains the Metal!"
It does? whats your excuse then? :)
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