Myspace Retards

Okay we all know that I'm not a big fan. But recently I've been using is as the communication tool it can (kind of) be and it's been fun. I guess. When you mess around on the net as much as I have in the past few months, you are bound to see all kinds of things. Well, I saw one today that truly offended the senses, so I decided to go completely overboard with it. As usual.

If you have a Myspace, chances are you have people on your friends list who you don't know and frankly, you aren't quite sure how they got there either. If your mystery friends are anything like mine, from time to time you will see surprising little idiocies. Like they may leave you a weird, sparkly comment saying "You're Hawt", or they may fight with your brother's girlfriend all over your comment box (true story). But I've got the topper.

I don't know who "MandyGirl" is, but she posted a bulletin sometime this weekend saying "Girls: If you live in the DC area and want to babysit this weekend, hit me up!" Or something equally stupid. Now I saw this and I said to myself, she can't possibly be searching Myspace for a babysitter. This is probably some trick chain letter retarded thing. But I had to know, so stupidly, I opened it.

Sure enough, this woman was looking for a babysitter. On Myspace. You know, strangers. In Josh's words "Where everybody could be somebody else." She wanted to go to some show so bad that she was polling Child Molester Central, other wise known as the internet, for a friggin babysitter. In case you haven't figured out my standing on this, it's basically WTF.

Why not just leave your kids home alone, chick. Better yet, as you're walking out the door just hang a big sign in the front yard saying, "Hello Strangers! My kids are home alone! Feel free to check in and do whatever you want with them!"

It's bad enough that people you know are likely to do something horrible to your kids. Professionals and relatives are routinely showing up on the news as rapists, kidnappers and murderers. Or, you know, all three. I can't believe this girl. What the hell is wrong with her. I think I might leave her my first (and likely last) comment as one of her mystery friends. It will read something like:

Dear Ms.Mandy,
I'm sure the state of Virginia would love to know that you are intending to hire a stranger from the internet to watch your children. I'll tell you what...I'll go ahead and call them and let them know that you are an IDIOT, undeserved of the capabilities to breed, and they will probably just come in and take the kids off your hands for you. That way, you can go to whatever show you want and not have to worry about it. Ever.

Have a nice day.





But that's just my rough draft.