It's about Time.

Well here it is. Another random collection of the crap in my head. Sort of an update, if you will.

I got a hair cut. Friggin finally. It makes me happy. The best hair cuts cover up most of your face.

Sadie is (probably) going to have some puppies pretty soon. I can't say for sure that she hasn't just morphed into a fat, saggy dog suddenly. But she looks disgusting and that's usually a pretty good sign of pregnancy. If she does have puppies, I'm super excited because they are sooooo damn cute. That will also mean yet another full time job for me and that will make three but at least this one will produce some money. Hopefully.

I made a bad decision this weekend. It was not at all like me. It was mean and spiteful and I knew I shouldn't do it but I did it anyway. Candice was having a bachelorette party and I totally blew it off. ( I know what you're thinking, I'm an idiot because like her or not free booze and fun is always good!) But you are wrong. When you're with Candice, you are in the center of the universe, which is her home because the world revolves around her. Soooo...if you were even thinking about having fun you should probably just forget it. Besides, she only has like two friends and one of them is supposed to be me but she's treated me like shit so I'm done with that. The other one isn't even old enough to drink and I'm done getting minors in trouble. So basically I didn't go and I didn't call to tell her I wasn't going. Sound familiar? Yeah...that's what she did to me with my baby shower. Only the bachelorette thing is no big deal. I already threw her a fabulous bridal shower which only four people came to and it pretty much put me into the hole. And no "thank you's" of course. Now she's leaving me messages and emails in her "angry voice" saying things like "We need to talk." Which is what she was doing when she wanted to tell me why she didn't come to my baby shower. And her stupid frigging excuse....oh man every time I think about it I want to hurt her physically.

It's not that I'm such a princess that I think everybody who didn't come to my shower is an evil bitch. There were lots of people who didn't come (though most of them sent at least a card for the baby, or called and said they weren't coming) The point is she was supposed to be my BEST friend. But she ditched me at a very important time. See, going to someone's shower is like saying, "I support you in this. Congratulations!" and she never said either. She doesn't even pretend to like Riley. And basically I'm sick of the Bull. After the wedding I pretty much plan to cut her off completely. Blah.

What else...ugh I don't know. I guess I've been a little depressed. There's so much going on. Josh has been working on one kind of freelance or another for the past year and I'm a little tired of it. We both are. But we need to get out of debt. We need to not still have these same problems 5 years from now. This year has definitely been better than the last. I NEED to move out of this house soon. And by soon I mean someday. I'm not staying here forever. I can't.

Yesterday was a pretty tough day. The man is teething and he needs something he doesn't understand so he just cries. I'm already depressed and tired and stressed out so this is very hard on the both of us. Josh comes home for lunch and I go to take a shower and cool off for a minute as is my usual practice. Yes, my shower is still dark, scarey and the ugliest thing I've ever seen but we fixed the stream problem so it's been ok. I still wear flip flops. But yesterday I got in and it was like trying to shower in the rain. Worse, in the sink. In a dark, scary, UGLY sink. I flipped out. Josh had to come up stairs and check on me. I was literally screaming at the shower. "Why won't you just work you bastard!!!" And some other, even harsher words. And I was kind of crying. It's embarrassing to admit that but...I can live with a lot of things. I can even deal with the stress of our lives right now and take it all in stride. But if I can't even take a freaking shower!!! It's on. Unfortunately my screaming didn't fix it and I had to get out with all the soap in my hair and everything. It was just impossible to rinse. I was miserable.

Anyway I got over it, of course. I can't just be miserable when I have a child to take care of. Hopefully today will be better.

This is getting long I guess so I'll wrap it up. It sounds like I'm complaining but I truthfully don't do that much in real life. I actually do like our house, our dogs, our car, baby and even our friends (just not the one I mentioned above). My family even seems to be doing a little better. Baby steps. Speaking of, Riley is doing awesome too. He's got a lot of fuzzy hair and he's so cool. Sometimes he will just play with his own hands and they are so fascinating to him. Josh knows how to make him laugh really hard and he does so often. He's got a great laugh. He's almost six months old...I can't believe it.

So that's kind of an update. Of course there's tons more going on, but my wrists hurt and the man is tired of jumping.